Stranger
by RedRaiderHottie
Summary: Amy gets into an accident and falls into a coma. What happens when she eventually wakes up to a world in which she is a stranger to? How does she adjust when everyone around her has grown up and possibly moved on? Will be Ricky/Amy eventually...COMPLETE
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**Summary: Amy gets into an accident and falls into a coma. What happens when she eventually wakes up to a world in which she is a stranger to? How does she adjust when everyone around her has grown up and possibly moved on?**

**AN: Although not my first fanfiction story, this is my first Secret Life one. I got the idea from watching a movie the other day. Hope you like it…**

**Also thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

* * *

_**Prologue**_

"Hey Ben, I can't really talk right now, I'm late picking up John from Pre-K." Amy manages to say as she runs to her car. Once there, she digs out her keys, unlocks the car, and jumps in. With her phone tucked between her ear and shoulder, Amy pulls out of the university parking lot.

Rolling her eyes, Amy gives an exasperated sigh at whatever Ben is saying. "Actually Ben," she interrupts, "I don't think I'll be able to make it tonight." For a few seconds she listens to his ranting as she honks her horn in frustrating at the slow moving van in front of her. "It's nothing like that," she interrupts again, "it's just that with Ricky being out of town, you know how John gets…whatever Ben, I got to go," Amy sighs, hanging up the phone and tossing it into the passenger seat where it falls to the floor.

Seconds later she hears the phone ringing. Cursing silently, she leans over, reaching for the phone while trying to keep her eyes on the road.

More than a little preoccupied she doesn't notice the oncoming vehicle. But she does hear it -- blaring sound of a car horn, quickly followed by the eerie sound of screeching tires.

Looking towards the sound, Amy could only stare as the huge truck made a beeline towards her.

Eyes wide and body frozen in place, she watches as it collides with her small car. As her head whips back against her car seat, an image of her 4-year-old son flashes before her eyes before slowly fading as everything turns black…

* * *

**AN: Sorry it's so short, but it's only the beginning and there's more to come very soon. I hope you liked it. Please review to let me know what you think. Chapter 1 should be up as soon as my beta finishes going over it :)**

**-Nichelle**


	2. Chapter 1: 10 Years Later

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**Summary: Amy gets into an accident and falls into a coma. What happens when she eventually wakes up to a world in which she is a stranger to? How does she adjust when everyone around her has grown up and possibly moved on?**

**AN: Thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

* * *

_**Chapter 1: 10 Years Later…**_

_*Character Updates (in alphabetical order)_

_Aaron Juergens– 13 years old, George and Anne's son, in the 8__th__ grade, best friends with John, his nephew_

_Adrian Lee – 30 years old, an Assistant District Attorney with her father, on-again, off again relationship with Ricky_

_Amy Juergens – 29 years old, in a coma for the last 10 years after a car accident_

_Anne Juergens – remarried to and living with George, still working as an Environmentally Safe Consulter for several Architectural and Interior Design firms_

_Ashley Juergens – 27 years old, an English teacher at Grant High School_

_Ben Boykewich – 29 years old, a vice president at his father's business_

_George Juergens – still owns the furniture store, remarried to Anne, living with her and Aaron_

_Dr. Grace Bowman-Pappas – 29 years old, a pediatrician with her own practice, married to Jack_

_Jack Pappas – 30 years old, head football coach at Grant High School, married to Grace_

_John Juergens-Underwood – 14 years old, in the 8__th__ grade, best friends with his uncle, Aaron, living with his father, Ricky_

_Ricky Underwood – 30 years old, still working at the Boykewich butcher shop but is now head manager, living with his son, John, on-again, off-again relationship with Adrian_

_

* * *

_

_"I love you, Amy. Wake up, please."_

_"Come on, Ames, time to wake up."_

_"Wake up, mom, I miss you."_

_"We love you, Amy. Please come back to us."_

_"After all you've been through, you can't leave now. Think of John. Fight"_

_"Wake up, Amy. We miss you. We need you. I need you – for John, I mean."_

Amy couldn't make any sense of all the words flying in and around her head. They were all similar, and yet none were the same. But they all held the same message – 'Wake up'.

For the longest time, Amy felt like she was sinking, further and further into the unknown. Surrounded by continuous darkness, time was lost to her – seconds were hours, minutes were days. She didn't know how long she had been there – wherever there was.

Then something changed.

Instead of sinking, she now felt as if something was pulling her in the opposite direction. She fought against the forceful pull, frightened as she became engulfed by bright lights and colors

Then everything was black again. An annoying beeping sound could be heard close by as Amy tried to figure out what was going on.

Then slowly, as if the process was painful, she willed her eyes to open, but closed them quickly to shield them from the blinding florescent lights above her

* * *

"Hey Adrian," Ricky answers his phone as he leaves the butcher shop and heads for his car. "On my way to pick up John," he replies as he starts to drive to the middle school.

Ricky begins to frown as he listens to Adrian talk. "You know I can't get with you tonight," he says, his voice irritated. "I told you yesterday, John and I are going to visit Amy today…no it can't wait till tomorrow…"

Ricky pulls up in front of the school and waits for his son. "You can't honestly be jealous of Amy," Ricky sighs, exasperated. "She's in a coma for goodness sake, has been for 10 years…so what if I visit her every week…it's for the sake of John, you know, my and Amy's son." Ricky looks up and sees John and Aaron exiting the school. "Look Adrian, I got to go. Bye."

Ricky smiles as his son climbs into the passenger seat of the car. "Hey Johnny-boy," he greets.

"Dad, could you please not call me that," John grumbles.

Ricky could only laugh at the look of disgust and embarrassment apparent on his son's face. "So, how was school?" he asks, as he pulls out of the parking lot, waving at Anne and Aaron as he passes them.

"It was ok," John mumbles, staring out the window.

"Everything okay, John?" Ricky inquires, glancing at his son in concern.

"Dad," John turns to look at his father, "we're going to go see mom today, right?"

"Of course,"

John sighs as he returns to staring out the window. "You know, it's exactly 10 years ago today that mom was in the accident."

"Yea, I know…" Ricky says quietly, a frown flashing across his face, as the car falls quiet.

The silence is broken a short time later when Ricky's phone starts to ring. He answers immediately when he recognizes the number of the hospital.

"Yes?" he asks hesitantly.

* * *

Anne waves back at Ricky as Aaron jumps into the car.

"Hey mom," he greets.

"Hey, how was school today?" she asks as she pulls out of the parking lot.

"It was ok, nothing out of the norm." Aaron replies, shrugging his shoulders.

"How was John, today?"

A small frown tugs at his lips. "Ok, I guess, considering…" he says with a pointed look. Anne nods in agreement. "Do you think he and uncle Ricky are going to go visit her today?" Aaron asks quietly as they pull into their driveway.

"I'm sure they are," Anne answers, glancing at her son quickly before getting out of the car.

As they reach the back door, Aaron leans over and wraps both of his arms tightly around Anne. "I love you, mom."

Returning her son's hug, a tear slowly makes its way down her cheek, as she stares down at the top of his head. "I love you too, Aaron."

The ringing of the house phone brings them back to reality. Pulling away, Anne wipes at her face before unlocking the door and walking into the kitchen and over to the phone.

"Hello," she answers, looking over at Aaron, who stares back at her.

* * *

Ashley walks into the furniture store, waves at Donovan, and continues on her way until she reaches her Dad's office in the back. "Hey Dad," she greets him.

"Hey Ash," he says looking up from some paperwork. "How was school today?"

"Eh, the usual," she shrugs as she sits on the corner of his desk. "I got a stack of essays I need to start reading and grading tonight."

"Sounds like fun. What is it this time – Shakespeare?"

"I wish," Ashley laughs. "Homer actually, we just finished reading the _Odyssey_ last week."

George laughs along with her before becoming serious. "You know what today is, right?"

"How could I forget?" Ashley sighs. "I just hope John is doing ok." George nods his head just as his phone, and Ashley's, start to ring.

"Hello," "What's up?" they answer, respectively.

* * *

"Yes, Janice?" Ben says as he pushes the intercom button on his phone.

"Mr. and Mrs. Pappas are here to see you."

"Send them in," he quickly tells her.

"Hey Ben," Grace chirps as she walks into the office followed by Jack. "How are you, today?"

Ben forces a smile, "I could be better."

"Well, that's why we're here," Jack offers a reassuring smile.

"We brought cookies!" Grace exclaims, holding out a covered plate. "They're your favorite."

Ben smiles his thanks, taking the plate and placing it on his desk. About to say something, Ben is interrupted by his secretary's voice over the intercom. "Mr. Boykewich, there's a call for you on line 1."

"Not now, Janice," Ben says, slightly irritated.

"It's the hospital," she quickly adds.

Ben looks up at Grace and Jack in shock before quickly grabbing the phone and bringing it to his ear.

"Hello," he says as Grace walks over and places her hand on his arm comfortingly.

* * *

_**The Call…**_

_I would just like to inform you that Amy Juergens is now finally awake from her comatose state._

* * *

**AN: Well here it is…I hope you liked it. Having never been in a coma myself, nor do I know anyone who has…I hope that the part where Amy wakes up was ok. Well let me know what yall think. Suggestions are greatly appreciated. And I hope to have the next chapter up soon. It's entitled 'Welcome Back'**

**-Nichelle-**

**P.S. Try and guess who said what at the very beginning of this chapter...My beta got them on her first try lol so i doubt they are at all hard...**


	3. Ch 2:Welcome Back To a Strange New World

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**Summary: Amy gets into an accident and falls into a coma. What happens when she eventually wakes up to a world in which she is a stranger to? How does she adjust when everyone around her has grown up and possibly moved on?**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: IloveSecretLife, br00kel0veswildfire, myranda, :D, edward-and-bella-forever, Candice, secretlifexxx, DMC, soren919v, smitty235, hollowmeadow**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**FYI: according to a book called The Unexplained, or something like that…the longest coma in which the person did wake up was 29 years…WOW…**

_Thoughts will be in Italics_

* * *

_**Chapter 2: Welcome Back…To A Strange New World**_

_I was in a coma, _is all she could think, _I was in a coma for 10 whole years._ Amy is sitting up in her hospital bed, watching as nurses and doctors bustle around her, but she isn't really paying attention to whatever they are doing.

_What have I missed,_ she sighs. _My little John,_ she thinks as an image of a 4-year-old John pops into her head. _But he's not 4 anymore,_ she laments, shaking her head of the image. _I wonder what he looks like now – like me maybe..._

_Or Ricky,_ she blushes as images of her baby's daddy fills her head. _I wonder if he ever got his MBA, _she smiles. _Or did he have to devote all his time to being John's only parent, _Amy frowns at the thought.

_And what about mom, dad, Ashley and Aaron,_ a small smile returns at the notion of her family. _I bet Aaron's big now like John probably is, and Ashley – did she go to college, what is she doing with her life now?_

_10 years – I must have missed so much,_ a deep frown has now settled on her features. _Birthdays, first days of school, graduations, _Amy closes her eyes, ignoring the tears falling down her cheeks, as she thinks about the past and a future she slept through.

* * *

Ricky and John are, of course, the first to arrive at the hospital. Rushing to the nurses' station and inquiring about Amy, they are told to wait in the waiting room until further notice since Amy is still being checked on by her doctors.

Next to arrive is George and Ashley, quickly followed by Anne and Aaron. Finding their way to the waiting room, they all exchange hugs with Ricky and John, before sitting and anxiously waiting for some news.

A short time later, Grace, Jack and Ben arrive at the hospital. No hugs are exchanged, just hopeful smiles as the waiting continues.

It isn't long until a doctor finally approaches them. "Are you all here for Amy Juergens?" he asks.

"Yes," George answers as they all stand and gather around the doctor.

"Well, the good news is that all the tests we've run on Amy have come back looking very good." Everybody sighs in relief. "All the swelling in her brain has gone down and there isn't any sign of brain damage. And, of course, all her injuries sustained during the accident – her broken leg, ribs and arm – are now completely healed."

"When can we take her home?" Anne asks.

"Well…" the doctor starts slowly.

"Can we see her?" John interrupts.

"Well, there's also some bad news," says the doctor, cautiously.

"What do you mean?" Ricky speaks up, wrapping a protective arm around John.

"Physically, Amy is a 100%. It's her mental state, however, that has us worried. For anyone who has been in a coma for a significant amount of time, it's going to be hard for them to readjust once they finally wake up. The same goes for Amy."

"So, what can we do?" George questions.

"All you can do is be supportive of Amy and be patient during her process of rediscovering everything. For now, we would like to keep Amy here until we can be sure of her mental stability."

"Can we see her?" John repeats.

"Yes but no more than two people at a time – we don't want to overwhelm her. She has been placed in room 235." With that said, the doctor offers a quick smile before retreating the way he came.

"You should go first, John," Anne suggests, smiling at her grandson reassuringly.

John looks up in surprise. "Are you sure?" Anne just smiles as everyone else nods. Taking a few steps forward, he stops, turning back to look at Ricky. "Dad?" he implores, looking up at his father pleadingly.

"I'm here, buddy," Ricky says. With a nod to George and Anne, he follows his son back to Amy's room.

Upon reaching the room, they see Amy sitting up in the bed with her eyes closed. Ricky remains in the doorway, watching teary-eyed, as John runs over to his mother and throws himself at her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Mom," he chokes out as he buries his face into her neck.

Amy was lost in thought when she felt something fall onto her. Instinctively, she wraps her arms around the other body. Hearing the choked out word, Amy holds on tighter as a fresh wave of tears start to fall. _My John,_ eyes still closed, she holds her son firmly against her as they both continue to cry.

Ricky gradually makes his way over to the bed. As much as he'd like to, he can't stop the few tears that manage to fall from his eyes, as he watches the emotional reunion between mother and son. Reaching out steadily, he gently runs his hand over Amy's hair.

At the soft touch, Amy slowly opens her eyes. Looking up, she finds herself staring into deep eyes, glinting with unshed tears. _Ricky, _she thinks, giving him a small smile. Ricky returns the smile faintly before glancing down at John, securely wrapped in his mother's arms.

Amy continues to stare at Ricky for a while longer before hesitantly lowering her eyes to her son. "I love you, so much," she declares, kissing the top of his head.

"I love you, too," John pulls away slightly, and for the first time in 10 years, Amy sees her son's precious face, which is the perfect combination of both her and Ricky.

"Wow," she breathes, "you're all grown-up," she pulls John into another hug. Suddenly, Amy burst into tears, causing John to jump a little. "I've missed out on everything," she sobs.

Ricky gazes down at Amy, his eyes full of sympathy. "Oh Amy," he soothes, running his hand through her hair, "it'll be ok."

Amy glares up at Ricky. "It is not ok, Ricky," she shouts. "It will never be ok – I MISSED 10 YEARS," she yells through her tears as John tightens his grip on her. "I've missed taking John to school; I've missed 10 years worth of birthdays and doctor's appointments. I'VE MISSED EVERYTHING!" she screams, her sobs increasing with every word. "And you know what," she gasps, choking over her words. "I don't even know my son anymore," she cries, holding onto John tighter. "I don't know what his favorite color is or…or…or what his favorite subject in school is…or…or what his…" Amy's ranting is cut off as her body is overcome with heaving sobs.

Ricky can only stare down at the mother of his son, his eyes a mixture of sadness, compassion and affection. Soon, Amy's crying becomes quiet as he watches her breath deeply in an attempt to control her weeping.

"His favorite color is hazel," Ricky whispers after a few minutes. "He told me it's because it reminds him of your eyes," he adds, using a finger to push back some of her hair. "And his favorite subject is band. What can I say," Ricky shrugs, "he takes after his parents." Amy grins at this.

"I play the French horn like you, mom" John exclaims, looking up at his mother's face.

"And the drums," Ricky says proudly.

"Is that so?" Amy beams, ruffling John's hair.

"Mom," he whines, ducking out from under her head.

"Ok, well, tell me about that," Amy smiles, her eyes shining with curiosity, "tell me about school."

"Actually, why don't we give everyone else a chance see to your mom first," Ricky cuts in, "and then you can come back and tell her everything," he quickly adds, watching as relief washes over both of their faces.

As soon as the two of them left, she instantly misses the feel of her son in her arms. On the verge of another breakdown, Amy is immensely grateful when her mom and, who she assumes is her younger brother, walk into the room.

"Oh my gosh, Amy," Anne gushes, rushing to the bedside to hug her eldest daughter. "I've missed you…I love you."

"I love you, too, mom," Amy holds onto her mother like a lifeline. After a few seconds, Amy opens her eyes, looking over her mom's shoulder at her brother. "Wow, Aaron," she chuckles, "and I thought John had gotten big." Anne laughs as she steps back, making room for Aaron to hug his sister.

"How are you holding up?" Anne asks.

"Not too good," Amy groans. "I'm almost…scared, I guess."

"I understand…"

"No, actually you don't," Amy snaps, reaching up to wipe at the tears that slip out. "I'm sorry, mom. It's just that…I feel like a stranger here. Like I just popped into all your lives and I have to get to know you all for the first time, which is basically true. It's been 10 years, and no matter what anyone says, people are bound to change in that amount of time. And I'm afraid to learn how much all of you changed."

"I'm so sorry, Amy," Anne urges. "You're right, I don't understand what you're going through, but I am here for you. We all are."

"Thanks, mom,"

"You're welcome, sweetie," Anne states, squeezing her hand. "We'll let your dad and Ashley come see you now. I love you and I'll see you later."

Moments later, the door bursts open to reveal George and Ashley. "Welcome back, Ames," George calls out, walking into the room.

"Yea...to a strange new world," Amy mutters under her breath.

"Hey sis," Ashley greets, going to hug her sister. "How are you?"

"Forget about me," Amy stares at her sister in shock, "I can't even remember a time when you weren't wearing black and now look at you," she laughs, gesturing at Ashley's outfit, "is that pink?"

"It's fuchsia, thank you very much," Ashley growls causing Amy to howl in laughter.

"It's good to hear you laughing again, Ames," George claims.

"So what's new with you two?" Amy asks once her laughter has died down to a few giggles.

"I'm a teacher," Ashley announces, ignoring Amy as her jaw drops in surprise. "English at Grant."

"I bet you make a great teacher," Amy sighs in awe.

"Teacher of the year – 2 years running," George beams proudly, wrapping an arm around Ashley in a one-arm hug.

"That's amazing, I'm proud of you, Ash."

"Thanks," Ashley replies, hugging her sister again.

"Well, there are still a few more people who'd like to see you," George says. "So, we'll leave you to it, love you."

"Yea, later," Ashley says, walking out the door.

Next to visit her are Jack and Grace. Amy was happy to discover that at least their relationship hadn't changed the last 10 years, although she wishes she hadn't missed their wedding. Grace even told her the exciting news that she was pregnant. It made Amy feel less of a stranger to be the first to know of the couple's good news.

A few minutes after they leave, she hears a knock at her door. _Ben,_ she smiles as he walks into the room.

"Amy," he breathes, as he reaches her bed and places a kiss on her cheek, "how are you?"

_That's weird,_ Amy gives him a small smile. _A kiss on my cheek?...no 'I love you'_ "I'm good," she answers, "now that you're here."

Ben smiles, "I've missed you."

"Well, I'm here now," Amy grabs Ben's hand, intertwining their fingers. "So, what have you been up to the last 10 years?"

"Nothing much," Ben shrugs, looking down at their entwined hands.

"Oh," Amy huffs incredulously. _That's hard to believe,_ she snorts silently, _10 years and he's done nothing._

"Well, I made VP," he proclaims, obviously pleased with himself.

"That's good," Amy replies, lost in thought.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yea, I'm fine, just thinking?"

"About what?"

"Um…about everything I've missed these last 10 years," she says absentmindedly.

"Well, I think I'm going to go,"

"What?! So soon?" she asks, snapping out of her thoughts.

"Yea, I got some work to do."

"Ok, well, I love you" she says softly.

"Me too," he says, leaning over and lightly kissing her lips. Amy watches him walk out the door, staring after him suspiciously.

The second Ben was out of her sight, John was running into the room and to her side. "Mom," he exclaims, hugging her excitedly. Amy chuckles, her suspicions over Ben instantly forgotten in the presence of her son.

"Where's your dad?" Amy asks, noticing Ricky's absence.

"Umm…"

"I'm right here," Ricky answers, walking into the room holding a bag of food. "Your son ran all the way in here when he saw Ben leave. He forgot that I'm an old man and can't keep up with him," Ricky laughs.

Amy rolls her eyes, smiling brightly. "What's that?" she inquires, pointing to the bag.

"I remember 10 years ago, before all this happened, when I came back from my business trip, the 3 of us were suppose to go out for Chinese. Well, better late than never, right?" Ricky smiles as he starts to pass out the food.

"That's sweet of you," Amy exclaims, "I can't believe you actually remembered that," Amy looks up at him, smiling gently.

"I remember a lot of things," Ricky smirks, gazing into her eyes.

"Let's eat," John shouts, breaking the moment.

Amy chuckles, looking at her son lovingly, "So, John, tell me about school." As they eat, John proceeds to enthusiastically tell her about everything from school to music, eager for his mom to know him.

* * *

**AN: that chapter ended up being longer than I originally anticipated. Well I hope you liked this chapter…Let me know what yall think…I hope I can update sooner than later…the next chapter is mostly likely gonna be called 'Escape'**

**-Nichelle-**


	4. Chapter 3: Escape

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**Summary: Amy gets into an accident and falls into a coma. What happens when she eventually wakes up to a world in which she is a stranger to? How does she adjust when everyone around her has grown up and possibly moved on?**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: IloveSecretLife, br00kel0veswildfire, :D, soren919, hollowmeadow, edward-and-bella-forever, theadventurer, RAMY_Lover, xomamx, ButterflyFeelings, Maiqu**

**Unfortunately, my beta is super busy packing and heading back to college, but I really really wanted to get this posted for yall, so if there's any mistakes or awkward moments I apologize…**

_Thoughts will be in Italics_

* * *

_**Chapter 3: Escape**_

It's been a week since Amy woke up from her coma. Ricky and John had come to visit her every day. Amy loved their visits, she especially enjoyed hearing John talk about his day.

She also received frequent visits from George, Anne, Ashley and Aaron. And although she loved her family dearly, those visits weren't as fun. They all expected her to be the 19-year-old Amy they lost 10 years ago. But that was impossible since she to, like them, had changed.

Then there was Ben. Actually, more like there wasn't Ben, considering the fact that he hadn't come to see her at all in the last 7 days. Amy, however, was conflicted on how she felt about that.

"We've come to spring you," Ricky announces, walking behind John into the hospital room.

"I get to go home, finally?" Amy asks eagerly.

"Yup," John nods, going over to help his mom gather her stuff.

"Where's everyone else?"

"Well…um…they're at the house," Ricky answers.

Amy looks at him and groans, "They're throwing me a party, aren't they?"

"Yea, I'm afraid so," Ricky smiles.

"Parties are fun, mom," John claims.

"Yea, right," Amy rolls her eyes. "Thanks for your help, John," Amy says once all her belongings are packed. "Hey, can you take my bag to the car, please? I need to talk to your father for a second."

"Sure thing," John picks up the bag and walks out of the room.

"So, what's up?" Ricky looks at her curiously.

"I want to live with you and John," Amy blurts out.

"What!?!" Ricky exclaims, shock and confusion evident in his voice.

"You have an extra room, right?"

"Um…yea…but wait…what?"

"So, I can move in with you?" Amy steps closer to him, her eyes pleading.

"Amy, what are you talking about?" Ricky questions, his shock now gone. "I thought you were going to stay with your mom and dad until you got back on your feet."

"Please, Ricky, I've already missed 10 years of John's life. I can't stand to be away from him for another minute," Amy tells him, almost begging now.

"Ok, fine," Ricky relents, unable to say no to her.

* * *

Amy looked on forlornly as they pulled up to her parents' house. _I'm really not in the mood for a party._

"FYI:" Ricky mentions, as they park and get out of the car, "it's suppose to be a surprise party. So for the sake of everybody, please pretend to be surprised."

"Whatever," Amy mumbles, following them to the front door.

"Smile," Ricky whispers into her ear before opening the door.

"SURPRISE!!!"

Amy puts on her biggest fake smile as she looks around the living room at the many faces present. Her mom and dad, Ashley and Aaron, Ben, Grace and Jack, Alice and Henry, Lauren and Madison, and Jason, all there to welcome her home.

"Wow guys," Amy exclaims, in her best fake cheerful voice, "this is amazing. Thanks so much." One-by-one everybody goes up to and hugs Amy, welcoming her home. Then the party begins – food, music and small talk.

"Hey mom," Amy says as she sits next to her on the couch, "umm…thanks for the party."

"You're welcome," Anne reaches over and lightly squeezes her daughter's knee.

Amy smiles delicately, "Actually mom, I have to tell you something."

"Ok…"

"I'm going to move in with John and Ricky," Amy states.

"What?" Anne coughs, stunned. Amy repeats the statement, slower this time with a pause between each word. "But why?" Anne asks.

"I want to be closer to John," Amy answers as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Is that all?" Anne studies her face carefully.

"Of course it is. Do I need another reason?"

"No, no. Well, if you think it's for the best…"

"I do," Amy smiles before getting up and heading over to where Lauren and Madison are. However, before she can take 2 steps, her path is blocked by another body.

"Can I talk to you privately?" Ben whispers roughly. Amy looks up at him dubiously. She gradually nods her head and allows him to pull her away from listening ears.

"So…talk…"

"What's this I hear about you moving in with Ricky?" Ben asks, jumping right to the point.

"Excuse me?" Amy crosses her arms across her chest. "What the hell were you doing –eavesdropping?"

"No…well yea…but I have every right…"

"Like hell you do," Amy scoffs. "You've been ignoring me for the past week and now you suddenly care when I decide to move in with my son and his father."

"I'm your boyfriend," Ben hisses, "and I would've been your husband if it wasn't for…"

"If it wasn't for what," Amy interrupts, "if it wasn't for my accident _**10 years ago**_." Amy shakes her head irately before walking away, down the hallway, and into the bathroom.

Amy splashes some cool water on her face before grabbing a hand towel and patting her face dry. Laying the towel on the sink counter, Amy finds herself staring intently at her reflection. _I don't even recognize my own face._

Quickly turning away from the mirror, Amy slowly makes her way back to the living room. Once at the mouth of the hallway, she spies Ben and Madison, across the room, talking quietly to each other – a familiar look in Ben's eyes. _That's the way he used to look at me – back when I knew for a fact he loved me._

Confused, Amy averts her eyes and scans the room, taking in her friends and family. _A stranger,_ she thinks as she watches everyone – feeling more alone than ever before.

With one last glance at the people she knew 10 years ago but not anymore, Amy slips into the kitchen, making her escape out the back door.

* * *

Adrian pulls into her parent's driveway, sparing a quick glance at the Juergens' house. Walking up to the front porch, she encounters a surprise.

"Um…shouldn't you be next door at the party?" Adrian asks, sitting on the porch swing next to Amy.

Amy sighs, "I don't belong over there."

"Don't be ridiculous," Adrian gapes, staring at her in shock. "Isn't the whole purpose of the party to welcome you home."

"Yea but…they're welcoming home the me they knew from 10 years ago not the me I am now."

"Oh," Adrian looks out across the yard, "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"I'm a stranger here," Amy continues. "They've all moved on with their lives, leaving me behind, and I can't blame them for doing so."

"They haven't left you," Adrian insists. "What about Ben?"

"Ben," Amy laughs harshly, "he's definitely moved on."

Adrian looks over at Amy sadly before getting up, walking over to the edge of the porch and staring up at the darkening sky. _I'm sure I'm going to regret this later. _"If it's any consolation," she starts, still facing away from Amy, "Ricky's in love with you."

"What?!?" Amy gasps.

"Actually, he's always loved you on some level," Adrian turns to face Amy, "but after your accident, I think he realized that he needed you for more than just John's mother."

"You're lying," Amy ridicules, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I don't have a reason to lie to you," Adrian gives an exasperated sigh. _Why am I even doing this_, she thinks as she returns to sitting on the swing. "Did you know that for the first two years of your coma, Ricky took John to see you every single day? Then, for the next 8 years, he visited once every week with John – never missed. He said it was just so that John could know you, but I always knew there was more to it."

"Why are you telling me this?" Amy asks, staring at Adrian blankly. "I mean, I thought the two of you were together."

"Not really, I haven't even seen or heard from him since you woke up," Adrian admits. "Look, I love Ricky. I do, and I know he loves me. But we're not _**in love**_ with each other. And truthfully, in the end, I just want him to be happy and I believe you are the one who can make him happy."

"Hmmm," Amy exhales, looking over at her parents' house. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised they haven't realized I'm missing yet," Amy says, changing the subject.

"Don't think like that, I'm sure they just wanted to give you time."

Amy rolls her eyes, "I much prefer your brute honesty," she laughs.

Adrian shakes her head, chuckling softly. "So, you ready to head back to the party?"

Amy's smile instantly vanishes. "Not really. Honestly, I wish I could just get away. Go somewhere where I can find some peace and quiet and just think about things. Too bad my car was totaled," she laughs dryly.

Adrian looks at Amy thoughtfully. _Ricky's going to kill me,_ she thinks as she pulls her keys out of her pockets. "Here," she offers, holding the keys out for Amy.

Amy looks up in surprise, "Are you sure?"

"No but I figure why not? Now go before I change my mind. And don't worry about me, I got my old convertible in the garage."

"Thanks Adrian, thanks so much," she exclaims, giving Adrian a quick hug, surprising them both. "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry for…well…everything."

"I'm sorry, too. Now go," she lightly pushes Amy towards the car. Adrian watches Amy pull out of the driveway and speed off down the road. _Maybe now we can actually be friends for once,_ she thinks with a smile. _I guess 10 years really does change a person._

Moments later, Adrian sees Ricky run out of the Juergens' house and look around frantically. "She's gone," Adrian calls out.

Alarmed, Ricky turns to face her. "Gone? Gone where?"

Adrian shrugs. "She said she needed to get away – go somewhere where she can think. I let her take my car."

Ricky's brow furrows, obviously thinking. "I have to find her," he mumbles to himself, running to his car.

"Where are you going?" Adrian yells after him, but receives no answer as his car races off in the same direction as Amy.

* * *

**AN: for the most part I like Adrian, and I like the idea that after all this time and all the drama, Amy and Adrian could finally be friends (especially now that they're grown and more mature). Well I hope you like it. Review and let me know what you think.**

**Today (August 22) is my birthday!! I'm finally 21 lol. Also, this weekend I'll be busy with moving into my new apartment. So I don't know when I'll be able to update. I probably won't even get a chance to work on the next chapter until Monday at the earliest…sorry. I hope yall have GREAT weekend.**

**-Nichelle-**

**P.S. I have no idea what the next chapter is gonna be called but here's a lil sneak peak of what I've got written so far…**

_Chapter 4 Sneak Peak…_

"_I was worried about you,"_

"_I?" Amy questions._

"_What?" Ricky looks at her confused._

"_You said 'I was worried," not 'we,'" she explains_

"_Everyone was worried," he insists._

"_Yea right," Amy snorts. "You know, most of the time, I feel like you and John are the only ones who don't expect anything from me. You accept me as I am now, today – not the me I was 10 years ago."_

_**:D **_


	5. Chapter 4: Somewhere, Someday

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: I am so sorry I took forever to update…moving in was a disaster…me and my roommate actually ended up finding somewhere else to live…and then classes started…I'm only taking four classes this semester but they all involve lots projects and papers…but I'll try to find times to write whenever possible…and also to top it all off I had some major writer's block…so I'm sorry if this chapter sucks but I really wanted to get something posted for my readers…**

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed: br00kel0veswildfire, Maiqu, ButterflyFeelings, :D, soren919, Candice, edward-and-bella-forever, IloveSecretLife, DMC, Ghostwriter626**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is partially inspired by the song "Somewhere, Someday" by *Nsync. And yes, at the age of 21, I admit that I still and always will love *Nsync (I'm still anxiously awaiting a reunion lol)**

**Sorry for the super long author's note lol now on to the story…**

* * *

_**Chapter 4: Somewhere, Someday**_

_When clouds above you start to pour_

_And all of your doubts rage like a storm_

_And you don't know who you are anymore_

_Let me help you find what you've been searching for_

_**FLASHBACK – 12 YEARS EARLIER**_

_Ricky paces back and forth across John's room, bouncing his crying 2-year-old son in his arms. Kissing the top of John's head, Ricky cringes at the radiating heat he feels._

"_Mommy's back," Amy announces as she rushes into the room. "Is his fever still high?"_

_Ricky nods, "Did you bring the goods?"_

_Amy holds up a box of baby Tylenol before quickly opening it and pulling out the dropper. After quickly filling it with the appropriate amount of medicine, she approaches Ricky and a now whimpering John. "Open your mouth for mommy," she coos, dispensing the medicine into her son's mouth._

"_Let's give him a cool bath," Ricky suggests, already heading for the bathroom. Amy puts up the medicine on a high shelf before following._

_Leaning against the bathroom doorframe, Amy watches as Ricky fills the bathtub a few inches before gently placing John into the lukewarm water. She smiles at the sight of her son relaxing at the feel of the cool water against his feverish skin._

_Walking into the room, Amy sits on the toilet seat. "Do you remember band camp?" she asks randomly._

_Ricky looks up at her puzzled. "Um…yeah…" he glances down at John with a knowing look._

"_I didn't mean that," Amy laughs. "I meant band camp in general – more specifically, the lake." Ricky nods then waits for her to continue. "I loved that lake. It was so peaceful – such a great place to go and just think. It's where I went the morning after…" Amy trails off, looking down at John. "Sometimes I wish I can just escape and go there – even if it's just for a little while."_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

_Somewhere…_

_Somewhere there's a field and a river_

_Somewhere…_

_You can let your soul run free_

_Someday…_

_Someday let me be the giver_

_Let me bring you peace_

_Somewhere…_

_Somewhere there's a break in the weather_

_Somewhere…_

_Where your heart and spirit go free_

_Someday…_

_Someday it'll be for the better_

_Let this bring you peace_

Ricky pushes down harder on the gas pedal, the car's speed now passing 80 mph as he heads north and towards a place he hadn't been back to in over 14 years. Not even noticing the passing buildings and scenery, Ricky's thoughts are solely focused on Amy and his reaction when he couldn't find her at the party. Still confused, Ricky replays in his mind what happened back at the house after Amy went missing.

_**FLASHBACK – 30 or so minutes ago**_

_Ricky is talking with Grace and Jack, by the food table, about kids. Chucking silently at the excitement in Grace's voice, Ricky wonders if the couple is expecting. About to ask, his attention is suddenly averted to Ben talking – almost flirting – with Madison._

"_Excuse me," he says abruptly, walking over to the sausage prince. "Ben, where's Amy?" Ricky asks, glancing between Ben and Madison suspiciously._

"_Not sure," Ben shrugs his shoulders, "I think she went to the bathroom." Ricky nods his head tersely before turning around and walking towards the bathroom. Once there, he starts to panic at finding it empty._

_Rushing back into the living room, "Has anyone seen Amy?" he shouts._

_Everyone freezes, looking up at Ricky in shock. "Maybe she's in the kitchen," Grace suggests._

"_Or upstairs," Ashley adds._

_Ricky nods, rushing out of the room to search the rest of the house. Returning shortly, everyone still frozen in place, he negatively shakes his head. "She's not here," he sighs._

"_Well maybe she just needed to be alone – she did just wake up from a coma after all," Anne says. Immediately everyone – with the exception to Ricky and John – relaxes, accepting Anne's response._

"_Excuse me," Ricky seethes, angry at their reaction. "Yes, she just woke from a coma and that's exactly why she shouldn't be wondering around by herself." He sighs in frustration, "I can't believe you people." Glaring at them for only a second longer, Ricky quickly exits out the front door, his body tense with worry for Amy and disgust at everyone else for their lack of worry._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Ricky shudders, still stuck on the question of 'why.' _Why was I so scared and worried when I couldn't find Amy? Why did it anger me so much when everyone passed off Amy's absence as nothing?_

Ricky's grip tightens on the steering wheel as he spots a billboard for 'The Best of The Best' Band Camp, stating that it is only 45 miles away.

_It's not like I have feelings for Amy_, he chuckles at the absurdity of the idea. Suddenly, he is reminded of the many, many times Adrian asked him if he loves Amy. _Of course I love her, _he thinks, _but as the mother of my son._

John's face pops into his mind as he remembers all the times he took his son to visit Amy in the hospital – first daily, then weekly. _For the sake of John, _he remembers telling Adrian – who would just roll her eyes – on several occasions.

Ricky groans, feeling more confused now then he did before. _I am not in love with Amy, _he insists. However, he's not too sure if he's stating a fact or just trying to convince himself. Shaking his head in an attempt to expel the thought, Ricky finally pulls into the parking lot of the camp, immediately seeing Adrian's BMW.

_Girl, I know you think no one sees_

_The weight on your shoulders_

_But you can't fool me_

_And aren't you tired of standing so tall_

_Let me be the one to catch you when you fall_

Walking towards the lake, Ricky is mesmerized by the beauty of the bright golden sun setting over the sparkling lake and luscious forest surrounding the camp. Still in awe, he slowly makes his way over to where Amy is sitting on one of the docks.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" she whispers when he sits down next to her.

"Yeah," Ricky agrees, "I can see why you like it so much."

"Seeing something as amazing as this make me believe that anything is possible. That somewhere, someday life is better. But then reality hits and I remember that's just an impossible dream," Amy ends morosely, looking down into the water.

Ricky looks over at her curled up form, her chin resting on top of her knees, and his heart breaks at the look of pure sadness etched on her face. "Don't think like that," he starts, "anything is possible given time," he insists, reaching out to grasp her hand causing Amy to look over at their entwined fingers. "Amy your life may not be looking so bright right now," he continues, "but there's always tomorrow. Stop thinking about the past and whatcould have been and start thinking about now and what still can be. Think about John and the concert he has next week, or about Grace and Jack having a baby. Think about us being grandparents one day," he adds the last with a smirk, pulling a small giggle out of Amy. "The point is, no matter what's going on in your life, someday it will get better." Amy smiles up at Ricky, seeing the sincerity and compassion in his eyes.

_Let me bring you joy_

_Let me bring you peace_

_Take these tears that you cry and trust them to me_

_Let me give you heart_

_And let me give you hope_

_Be the one constant love that you've never known_

"So, how'd you find me?" Amy asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Ricky shrugs, "I just remembered you saying once that this would be a great place to escape to."

"If you thought I was escaping, then why'd you come after me?" she inquires, staring out across the water, her face and voice void of any emotion.

"I was worried about you," he immediately answers.

"I?" Amy questions.

"What?" Ricky looks at her confused.

"You said 'I was worried,' not 'we'" she explains.

"Everyone was worried," he insists, inwardly cringing at the thought of the other's reactions barely an hour before.

"Yeah right," Amy snorts. "You know, most of the time, I feel like you, John and now Adrian are the only ones who don't expect anything from me. You accept me as I am now, today – not the me I was 10 years ago."

Ricky can only nod, unable to argue with her about her friends and family's expectations. "So, what's the deal with you and Adrian anyway?" Ricky changes the subject as he turns to watch the last rays of sun fall below the horizon.

"What do you mean?" Amy asks, nonchalantly.

"I mean, she never lets anyone drive her precious car and yet here you are."

"Here I am," Amy shrugs. "I guess Adrian and I have connected on a whole new level."

"What does that mean?" Ricky laughs, shaking his head.

Amy rolls her eyes, laughing as well. "I think we can actually be friends this time around – as weird as that sounds."

"I find that so hard to believe," he says through more laughter.

Amy smacks at Ricky's arm, "Isn't that what you wanted all this time, for us to get along."

Still laughing, "yeah but I never expected it to actually happen."

"So little faith," Amy admonishes. "Wasn't it you who just said that 'anything is possible," she reminds him, effectively ending his fit of laughter.

"Using my own words against me," Ricky pouts, "is that how it's going to be?" Amy can only laugh as she tries to remember a time she ever saw Ricky pout before but can't. "You're laughing at me now," Ricky crosses his arms across his chest, causing Amy to laugh harder. "I see how it is," he huffs as he gets up and overdramatically stomps away.

Still laughing, Amy jumps up from her spot on the dock and chases after him. "I'm so sorry," she shouts.

"No you're not," he yells back, a few feet ahead of her.

Once she reaches him, Amy has managed to bring her laughter under control. "Yes I am, I'm very, very, very sorry," she says pseudo seriously, looking up at him and batting her eyelashes. "Do you forgive me?" she asks sweetly.

Ricky looks down at her, placing a finger on his chin as if he was thinking. "I guess," he finally relents, causing Amy to jump up and down, clapping her hands, like a five-year-old.

"So," Amy sighs, looping her arm through Ricky's as they walk away from the lake, "what now?"

"Now we head back," Ricky responds, causing Amy to stop walking.

"Please not back to the party," she pleads.

"No," he starts, "but we got to at least return Adrian's car, and then pick up your stuff and John, and then we can head home."

Amy smiles, _Home,_ she thinks, _Just me, Ricky and John – a family._ Reaching Ricky's car, she leans over and gives him a kiss on the cheek before releasing his arm and heading over to Adrian's car. In a slight daze, he gets into his own car, his finger's lightly touching his cheek as he watches her get in the other car.

_Somewhere…_

_Somewhere there's a field and a river_

_Somewhere…_

_You can let your soul run free_

_Someday…_

_Someday let me be the giver_

_Let me bring you peace_

_Somewhere…_

_Somewhere there's a break in the weather_

_Somewhere…_

_Where your heart and spirit go free_

_Someday…_

_Someday it'll be for the better_

_Let this bring you peace_

* * *

**AN: Well I hope you liked this chapter…I hope the part where Ricky threw his lil fake fit was as funny to you as it was to me…my beta pointed out to me that he's a grown man lol…but he was just trying to make Amy laugh and I've seen men older than him act worse lol…thanks for reading and please review and let me know what you think…I know it takes me forever to update and I'm sorry about that…but I have the plot planned out for at least 12 more chapters, my beta calls it 'Dramatastic' lol…so don't give up on me please cuz I do plan finishing…it just may take a while**

**In the next chapter Amy confronts Ben and Madison, it's called 'You're Not Sorry'**

**-Nichelle**


	6. Chapter 5: You're Not Sorry

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Maiqu, Stranger, Candice, Ghostwriter626, :D, ButterflyFeelings, Mrs. Daren Kagasoff, secretlifeaddicted44,**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "You're Not Sorry" by Taylor Swift. **

* * *

_**Chapter 5: You're Not Sorry**_

_All this time I was wasting,  
Hoping you would come around  
I've been giving out chances every time  
And all you do is let me down  
And it's taking me this long  
Baby but I figured you out  
And you're thinking we'll be fine again,  
But not this time around_

Amy hangs up her phone, placing it on the nightstand, as she leans back against the headboard and goes over the conversation she just had with her sister.

_You should talk to Ben._

_Why?_

_And you should probably talk to Madison also._

_Again, why?_

_To clear things up._

_I don't know._

_Amy, it's been a week since the party – two since you woke from the coma – you need to do this so that you can move on._

_Move on from what?_

_The past._

_What are you talking about?_

_I know you think we all expect you to be the same person as before the accident, but we're still adjusting. Don't you think you should make a few adjustments as well? Just talk to Ben and Madison, find out the truth about your so-called boyfriend and his plausible love-affair, and clean the slate. Let it go and start over._

Amy groans in frustration, knowing that Ashley is right. Checking the time first, Amy grabs her phone and dials a number.

"Hey Madison, do you think I can come over, I need to talk to you about something."_  
_

_You don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
This is the last straw  
Don't wanna hurt anymore  
And you can tell me that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did - before  
You're not sorry_

"Amy!" Madison squeals, opening the door and giving her a hug. "Come in, come in, please sit," she says, pulling Amy into the apartment and motioning to the couch. "So how are you?"

"Good, I guess. I'm still adjusting, you know," Amy replies, shrugging.

Madison nods, "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"About you…and Ben," Amy states, watching Madison's face closely.

"What about us?" Madison asks with a slightly shaky voice, her eyes staring at a spot above Amy's head.

"Well," Amy starts with an all too calm voice, "I couldn't help but notice how comfortable you two seemed together at the party last week. So, I was wondering if you were seeing each other or something."

"Don't be ridiculous, Amy," she laughs nervously. "Ben is your boyfriend – he loves you."

Amy's eyes narrow as she stares at her childhood friend. "So, in the 10 years I was in a coma, you two never hooked up? No secret dead parents club meetings?" she adds sarcastically.

"Of course, not" she denies.

Amy sighs, "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure, it's down the hall, first door on the right."

Once there, Amy plops onto the toilet seat, her head in her hands. _I can't believe this, _she shakes her head in disbelief. _She's lying through her teeth. _Out of the corner of her eye, she catches sight of something interesting in the trashcan. _A pregnancy test,_ she scoffs as she all but runs out of the room.

"You're pregnant?" Amy practically shouts. Startled, Madison shakes her head negatively. "I saw the test. What the hell is that all about?"

Madison looks down fretfully, "It was negative," she mumbles.

Amy places her hands on her hips, fixing the other girl with a glare. "But you thought you were pregnant, right? I mean, enough to take a test."

Madison looks up, meeting Amy's stare, "yeah."

"Ben?" Amy inquires.

Looking away, "yeah," she repeats.

Harshly exhaling, Amy collapses on the chair behind her, the confirmed truth hitting her like an oncoming train. "How long?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Amy, that's not important," she insists.

"How long," she repeats, louder this time.

"Almost," Madison looks away, ashamed, "almost 5 years."

Amy chuckles incredulously. "Do you love him?" Madison looks up shocked, unable to answer. "I see," Amy nods, standing up.

"I'm so sorry, Amy," Madison pleads, also standing up.

"No, you're not."

"What?"

"You're not sorry," she claims, before rushing out the door.

_Looking so innocent,  
I might believe you if I didn't know  
Could've loved you all my life  
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold  
And you got your share of secrets  
And I'm tired of being last to know  
And now you're asking me to listen  
Cause it's worked each time before_

Amy knocks on the door frantically; half hoping he's home and half hoping he isn't, and wishing she had called first before coming over. Finally, the door opens after several minutes.

"Amy?" Ben looks at her confused, "isn't it a little late?"

Amy looks down at her watch, surprised at how late it really was when she saw that it was almost midnight_._ "Oh, yeah, sorry…Hey Ben, can we talk, it's kind of important." Ben nods slowly, stepping back and allowing her to enter.

They walk into the living room and sit on the couch. After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Ben speaks up. "So, what's on your mind?"

"I guess I should get right to the point," Amy starts, "What's going on with you and Madison?"

Ben's eyes narrow suspiciously, "Nothing, why?"

"Nothing," Amy repeats, "nothing at all?"

"No, of course not, I love you," Ben replies quickly.

Amy crosses her arms across her chest, shaking her head disappointedly. "You know, Ben, after the whole Maria situation, I thought you'd never lie to me again. And yet here you are – lying to me."

"I'm not…"

"Just because I was in a coma doesn't make me stupid," Amy raises her voice, interrupting him.

"I never said…"

"It didn't make me blind either," she continues. "I saw the pregnancy test," she adds smugly, watching as shock and fear register on Ben's face. "Oh, don't worry it was negative." Ben sighs in relief. "But that still doesn't mean you haven't been having sex with my friend for the last 5 years."

Ben looks down, defeated. "Can't we work this out," he mumbles.

Amy shakes her head. "You don't love me anymore," she states.

"I'll always love you," Ben says sincerely, looking up at her with hope filled eyes.

Taking a deep breath, she meets Ben's gaze, "but you're not **in love** with me," she claims calmly, "not like you're in love with Madison, at least."

"I don't love Madison," he insists, looking down.

"Stop lying to yourself, Benjamin," her voice still calm. "We both need to accept that you've moved on. And I honestly can't blame you for doing so," Amy admits. "10 years," Amy laughs sadly, "I would be stupid to think that you could hold out for that long."

"I'm sorry," Ben apologizes.

"Don't be," Amy struggles to say while holding back tears.

"So now what?" Ben asks.

"Now you go live a happy whatever with Madison, and I…" Amy stands up from the couch, avoiding looking at Ben, "and I leave," she ends quietly and she quickly makes her way to the door and out of the house.

_But you don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
This is the last straw  
Don't wanna hurt anymore  
And you can tell me that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did - before  
You're not sorry_

Amy jumps into her car and just drives, hoping to run away from everything – especially from the pain she wasn't expecting to feel after ending things with Ben. After a few minutes, she pulls over, unable to drive because of the tears blurring her vision. Looking up, she takes in her surroundings. Getting out of the car, she walks over to a familiar spot. Taking a seat, she buries her face in her hands and cries. She cries for Ben, she cries for John and Ricky, she cries for her parents and her siblings, but most of all she cries for herself and the hopelessness she feels. _  
_

_You had me crawling for you honey  
And it never would've gone away, no  
You used to shine so bright  
But I watched all of it fade_

_So you don't have to call anymore  
I won't pick up the phone  
This is the last straw  
There's nothing left to beg for  
And you can tell me that you're sorry  
But I don't believe you baby  
Like I did - before  
You're not sorry_

* * *

**AN: sorry it's not as long as previous chapters…but I hope you still liked it…thanks for reading and please review and let me know what you think**

**Next Chapter: Run To Me**

**-Nichelle**


	7. Chapter 6 Run to Me

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: soren919, Maiqu, Ghostwriter626, Cuppiecak12, secretlifeaddicted44, br00kel0veswildfire, Heaven829, poohbearlover95**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "Run To Me" by Nick Lachey. **

* * *

_**Chapter 6: Run To Me**_

_Over your head,_

_Trying not to drown,_

_Reaching for a breath,_

_Before it drags you down._

_Caught in between,_

_All the pain you feel,_

_You lost control,_

_You're letting go,_

_But I never will._

Amy sits on a bench with her legs pulled into her chest and her arms wrapped around them. Her chin rests on her knees, as she stares straight ahead, silent tears falling from her eyes. Although she's not sure of how long she has sat there, she knows it's late, but she just can't bring herself to care.

Staring out at the moon illuminated landscape, Amy thinks about her life. Being in a coma was definitely a life-changing event, but Amy isn't so sure she's ready to accept those changes. The most recent change being that her relationship with Ben is now officially over – for real, this time, unlike after the Maria situation when they just needed a break from each other.

_Why does it hurt so much? _she wonders. To be honest, she wasn't in love with Ben anymore. She hadn't been for a while now. But it still hurt. Ben was always a constant presence in her life since she met him. Even when they were broken up for those 2 years in high school, he was always there. This time, however, she knew in her heart that she not only lost her boyfriend but also a good friend.

"I knew I'd find you here." Startled, Amy looks up at the unexpected voice, finding Ricky standing barely a foot away from her. Allowing her legs to drop to the ground, Amy sits up and uses her hands to wipe her tear stained face.

"Um…Ricky…what um…what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you," Ricky answers as he sits down on the bench next to her.

"Why?"

"Because it's almost 4 in the morning and I was worried when you didn't come home."

"You worry too much about me," she chuckles humorlessly. Ricky chooses not to respond as he continues to stare at her. "So…how'd you find me? I mean, I could've been back at band camp."

Ricky shakes his head. "You weren't looking for peace and quiet this time," he says in a matter-of-fact tone.

"How would you know?"

"Ashley told me that you had most likely gone to go talk to Ben. When you never came home without calling, I figured things must have turned out badly and you two had broken up. This," Ricky gestures to their surroundings, "is the most logical place for you to go. You know, to try and remember the good times."

Amy looks around the park, tears welling up in her eyes as she recalls all the times she's spent at this particular bench with Ben. The most prominent memories being the two times he proposed – first when they were only 15 years old and then again when they were 19 years old, 3 months before the accident. Also, she remembers the time when they decided to break up after she found out he cheated on her in Italy.

Amy is pulled from her thoughts by the feel of another hand gently squeezing her own. "Are you going to be ok?" Ricky asks softly.

_I'm holding on for you,_

_I'm fighting for your life._

_And when you're blinded by this jaded world,_

_I'll be your eyes._

_Even if you fall,_

_I won't let you break_

_When all t he noise is telling you_

_To run away,_

_Run to me._

_Are you going to be ok?_ The question repeats in her head. Looking up at Ricky, her eyes slightly wide, Amy slowly shakes her head negatively. "No," she whispers.

"What?" Ricky leans in closer.

"No," she repeats, louder. "I won't be ok."

"Yes, you…"

"NO," Amy shouts, interrupting him as she jumps off the bench and starts to pace. "I don't think I can do this anymore," she says, frustratingly running a hand through her hair.

"What are you saying?" Ricky asks slowly. Still sitting, his eyes follow the back-and-forth movement of Amy.

"I don't know," she sighs. "I just…I can't handle this."

"Handle what?"

"This," she waves her arm out in front of her. "Everything," she emphasizes as she stops pacing and faces Ricky. "I need to stop pretending that everything is going to be ok because it's not."

Ricky gets up from the bench, walks over to Amy and pulls her into his arms. "Does this have to do with Ben? Are you still in love with him?"

Amy pushes him away and resumes her pacing. "No, this has to do with everything. Breaking up with Ben was just the cherry on top."

"So what's going on?" Ricky steps in front of her, stopping her pacing.

Amy sighs, looking down at the ground. "I don't belong here."

Ricky steps back in shock. "Yes, you do, John needs you," he insists.

"No, he doesn't," she snaps. "I'm a terrible mother. What kind of mother doesn't even know her own son? What kind of mother abandons her son for 10 long years?"

"That wasn't your fault." Amy ignores him as she starts to pace again.

"I can't even provide for him. I have no job. I never finished college. I'm useless. What could I ever offer my son?" Exhausted, Amy plops onto the bench and buries her face in her hands. "I think I should leave." Ricky looks down at her in shock, his brain hardly comprehending what she's saying. "Leave for good, this time, and never come back."

_Day after day,_

_After all you've seen,_

_It's alright if you feel like unraveling,_

_I'll be right here._

_I'm pushing out the walls,_

_To find the place,_

_Where you can stay,_

_Brave through it all._

"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Ricky explodes, causing Amy to jump. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before slowly opening them. "I'm sorry for yelling," he says calmly, although his hands are still clenched into tight fists, "but you must be insane if you think leaving your son is the best thing to do."

"Well, maybe I am," Amy says, defeated, as she slouches into the bench, "but what else is there to do?"

"Stay," he pleads as he briskly moves to kneel in front of her and takes one of her hands in both of his.

Amy looks up at him, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen. "I don't think I can."

"Yes, you can," Ricky insists. "Whether you believe it or not, John does need you. I need you and your family needs you. You are needed," he claims.

"You need me?" she asks in a small voice. Ricky nods. "But still, I can't. Whenever something happens that reminds me of all the time I've missed, it just adds to all this guilt I already have."

"But you have nothing to be guilty for. You did nothing wrong. The accident was not your fault."

"Yes, it was," Amy cries. "It was my fault. If I hadn't tried to get my phone, if I hadn't taken my eyes off the road then none of this would have happened. It's all my fault and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Now sobbing, Amy launches herself at Ricky, wrapping her arms around his neck. He wraps his around her waist and pulls her impossibly closer as he whispers soothingly into her ear. "It'll be ok…Just let it out…let it all out…"

Eventually her sobs become quiet and she relaxes underneath Ricky's gentle hand rubbing her back. Slightly pulling away from her, Ricky uses a finger to lift up her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"It was not your fault," he says forcefully, "and no one blames you. But if you leave now it will not only be the most selfish thing you do but also all the pain you cause by leaving will be your fault." Amy closes her eyes, but quickly reopens them when Ricky gently but firmly shakes her. "Listen to me. John needs you. He needs his mother. Forget about the past. Forget about the coma and forget that you don't have a job. As long as you try to be the best mother you can be, given the circumstances, then that's all that matters to John. In his eyes, you can never fail as long as you try."

Amy smiles slightly through her tears before frowning again. "I still don't think I can handle it though. There's so many times when I feel like I'm about to go crazy and I just want to run away"

"Then run to me," Ricky exclaims, pulling her into another hug. "If you let me, I want to help you and maybe together we can get you past this."

Amy nods into his shoulder. "Would it be possible for me to talk to Dr. Fields?"

"Yes, of course, anything you want, just please stay," Ricky proclaims.

Amy pulls back and smiles at him before leaning in to kiss him on the check. "Okay, I'll stay," she relents, hugging him again.

_I'm holding on for you,_

_I'm fighting for your life._

_And when you're blinded by this jaded world,_

_I'll be your eyes._

_Even if you fall,_

_I won't let you break_

_When all t he noise is telling you_

_To run away,_

_Run to me._

* * *

**AN: Well that's it…fyi this is gonna be my last Amy pity "boo hoo I was in a coma" chapter…cuz honestly she's kinda starting to get on my nerves lol…well I hope you liked this chapter and please please please review and let me know what you think.**

**Next Chapter: Crush/Sometimes I Run**

**Sneak peak:**

"_Do you have a crush on someone?" he smirks, a splitting image of his father._

"_Maybe,"_

_John laughs. "Aren't you a little old to be having crushes?"_

"_Probably," Ricky smirks._

**-Nichelle**


	8. Chapter 7: Crush, Sometimes I Run

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Cuppiecak12, soren919, Candice, Maiqu, emma676, Ghostwriter626, Blondechick19, Heaven829, edward-and-bella-forever, Boots13, anon, Paoli**

**Also, one of the reviewers brought up the issue of medical accuracy regarding Amy's coma…and no I did not research comas and no this story is not medically correct in those regards…honestly I just wanted to leave all that medical stuff behind and move on to the drama lol…and plus my beta who is currently a premed major already got onto me about all that stuff about how Amy wouldn't be able to walk and what not so soon…so trust me when I say I've had that lecture already lol**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the songs "Crush" by David Archuleta and "Sometimes" by Britney Spears. **

* * *

Ch 7: Crush/Sometimes I Run

Ricky sits in his home office, staring at a stack of papers and thinking about the last few weeks. Amy had started seeing Dr. Fields twice a week and she was greatly improving. Ricky could now see her eyes shining with joy and happiness instead of the lost and sadness she tried to hide those first few weeks after she woke from her coma. She also enrolled in a few online classes at the local college. Ricky is very proud of how far she's come and extremely happy that he was able to convince her to stay here with him and John.

"Hey dad, what are you doing?" Ricky snaps out of his thoughts, turning around to face his son, who is standing in the doorway.

"Just some paperwork for the butcher shop," he answers. John nods his head, then his brow furrows in confusion.

"What are you listening to?" Ricky blankly stares at John before the music flowing from the computer's speakers registers in his mind.

"Oh…David Archuleta," Ricky says as if it's obvious. John continues to stare confusedly at him. "You know one of those American Idol runner-ups," he adds, still receiving the same confused stare. "Never mind, you're probably too young to remember." John nods as he continues to listen to the song.

_Do you ever think_

_When you're all alone_

_All that we could be?_

_Where this thing could go?_

_Amy I crazy or falling in love?_

_Is it really just another crush?_

_Do you catch a breath_

_When I look at you?_

_Are you holding back_

_Like the way I do?_

_Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away_

_But this crush ain't going away_

"Do you have a crush on someone?" John smirks, a splitting image of his father.

"Maybe," Ricky answers, thinking of Amy.

John laughs. "Aren't you a little old for crushes?"

"Probably," Ricky smirks.

"So, who is she?"

"Don't you have homework to do?" Ricky avoids the question as he stands and walks over to his son.

John crosses his arms. "Not gonna tell me, huh?"

"Nope," Ricky laughs as he pushes him out of the room. "Go do your homework." Ricky walks back over to his desk and plops down into his chair, thinking over the 'crush' his son thinks he has.

_It's definitely more than a crush,_ he thinks as his eyes land on a picture of Amy and John on his desk. When Amy had said she wanted to leave a few weeks back, Ricky's actions weren't entirely selfless. He was being honest when he told her that she needed to stay for John. But it was much more than that. In that moment, he could finally admit to himself that he had strong feelings for Amy, and the thought of her leaving was almost heart breaking. _What do I do now?_ he wonders as he runs a finger over Amy's face in the picture.

Slowly, he gets up and walks over to John's room. Standing in the doorway, he lovingly stares down at his and Amy's son as he works on his homework and listens to his iPod. _He's so much like his mother,_ he thinks proudly, never regretting what happened so long ago at band camp.

John looks up from his work, removing an ear bud from his right ear when he notices his dad in the doorway. "Hey dad, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go see Aaron."

"But I'm not finished with my homework yet,"

"That's ok…you've got the whole weekend to do it, and this won't take long anyways. I just need to talk with your grandpa."

"Ok," John agrees as he packs up his books.

_Has it ever crossed your mind_

_When we're hanging_

_Spending time, girl, are we just friends_

_Is there more_

_Is there more_

_See it's a chance we've gotta take_

_'Cause I believe that we can make this_

_Into something that'll last_

_Last forever _

When they arrive at the Juergens' home, John immediately run's up the stairs to find Aaron, and Ricky heads out to the backyard where he finds George cleaning the grill.

"Hey George," he greets.

"Ricky, what a surprise, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Just wanted to talk to you…about Amy…"

George stops what he's doing and looks up at Ricky. "What about her? I thought she was finally adjusting."

"She is, she's doing great now."

George sighs in relief as he looks down at the ground before immediately looking back up to stare at Ricky. "Then what's the problem?"

"No problem," Ricky looks down at his feet, "it's um…well…you see…"

"Spit it out, already."

"You remember that talk we had once about having 'heat' with someone?"

George menacingly walks closer to Ricky, a sour look on his face. "Are you saying you think you have heat with Amy now?"

Ricky involuntarily steps back. "Well…I don't know. I mean, ever since she woke from her coma, things have been different. I've been different. I just…I don't know anymore. I don't know what to do."

George watches Ricky sympathetically. "Aww," he sighs sarcastically, "the bad boy is in love."

Ricky looks up in shock. "What? I mean a strong like, maybe…but love?"

George laughs. "Yea, love. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. You two have a kid together. That's an unbreakable bond that sometimes grows into something more."

"Love," he mumbles to himself. "I love Amy," he says as if asking a question.

"What about Adrian?" George inquires.

"What about her?"

"Well, if you're thinking about pursuing Amy, then I need to know that you aren't gonna break my little girl's heart by cheating on her. She's been through that before – twice – and she sure as hell doesn't need that from you," he crosses his arms, staring intently at the younger man.

Ricky looks into Georges eyes. "I haven't seen Adrian in weeks, not since she officially ended things with me," he replies honestly, "and plus, I'd never want to intentionally hurt Amy. I don't know when it happened, but I think you're right. I think I'm in love with Amy."

George nods, reassured by the sincerity he hears in his words. "As her father, I must tell you that if you break her heart, I'll break your legs," he says seriously, before smiling brightly. "Now that that's all settled, what are you going to do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you gonna tell her?"

"I don't know," he says hesitantly. "I mean, she's been through so much, maybe this will just make things worse."

"I doubt it."

"How would you know?"

"A father knows," he says, tapping the side of his head, "and this father believes that Amy loves you too."

"Really?" George nods. "So, I should go tell her?"

"Yes," he replies impatiently. "John can stay here for a while."

"Thanks," he says as he turns to leave.

"Good luck," George yells after him.

_You tell me you're in love with me_

_Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me_

_It's not that I don't want to stay_

_But every time you come too close I move away_

_I wanna believe in everything that you say_

_'Cause it sounds so good_

_But if you really want me, move slow_

_There's some things about me you just have to know_

Ricky walks into his house and finds Amy in the living room, watching TV. "Hey Ames," he greets.

"Hey, where's John?"

"Still at your parents'," he answers.

"Ok," she nods, "so, what are you up to?"

"Actually, I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh, ok" she turns off the TV, getting more comfortable on the couch. "What's up?"

Ricky sits on the opposite end of the couch, nervously avoiding eye contact with Amy. "Well, I don't exactly know how to say this."

Amy stares at him curiously. "What's this about?"

Ricky looks down at his hands. "You and me," he says softly.

Amy scrunches her brows together. "What about us?" Amy starts to panic. "Do you not want me to live here anymore," she fretfully exclaims. "I thought…"

"No, no, no," Ricky interrupts. "That's not it at all."

"Then what is it?" Amy asks impatiently.

"I'm in love with you," Ricky unintentionally blurts out causing Amy's mouth to fall open in shock.

Sometimes I run  
Sometimes I hide  
Sometimes I'm scared of you  
But all I really want is to hold you tight  
Treat you right  
Be with you day and night  
Baby all I need is time  
I don't wanna be so shy  
Every time that I'm alone I wonder why  
Hope that you will wait for me  
You'll see that you're the only one for me

"You…you're…you're what?" Amy stutters.

Ricky stands and starts to pace back and forth in front of the couch. "I don't know when it happened," he babbles. "I mean I've always loved you as the mother of John. But then you got in that accident and something changed. I remember being at that conference for work and getting that call from Anne saying you were in a coma and I was devastated. After that I tried to convince myself and Adrian and everyone else that my constant visits were all for the sake of John. And even though he was a big part of it, I think I was going for me as well."

Ricky stops pacing and looks over at a still shocked Amy. He slowly sits down on the couch and reaches out to hold one of her hands. Looking into her eyes, he continues. "Then a couple of months ago, I get the call that you're finally awake and I was elated, but also very confused. I never wanted to leave your side and when you left your welcome home party and I couldn't find you, I got extremely worried. And it scared me. I couldn't understand then what I was feeling for you. And then a few weeks ago when you wanted to leave, the thought alone was enough to almost break my heart. And then today I was talking to George and…"

"You talked to my father," Amy gasps.

Ricky nods his head. "He made it all clear to me and I was finally able to admit that I've fallen in love with you." Ricky pauses, taking a deep breath. "I am in love with you, Amy Juergens."

Amy's eyes widen as she continues to stare at Ricky in shock. Ricky gently squeezes her hand. "Say something, please," he softly pleads.

Amy opens her mouth but quickly shuts it again. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath. Opening her eyes, she looks down at her hand, which is being held by Ricky's. "I…I…" she shakes her head and looks up at Ricky with sad eyes. "I can't do this," she mumbles before snatching her hand out of Ricky's and running out the front door.

_I wanna believe in everything that you say  
'Cause it sounds so good  
But if you really want me, move slow  
There's things about me you just have to know_

_Sometimes I run  
Sometimes I hide  
Sometimes I'm scared of you  
But all I really want is to hold you tight  
Treat you right  
Be with you day and night  
Baby all I need is time_

Once again, Amy finds herself running away – literally running this time. Unlike last time, no tears fall from her eyes as she pushes her legs harder and faster. Eventually she finds herself at Grant High School and, exhausted, she sits at one of the benches located in front of the school. Leaning back on it, she closes her eyes and starts to think about everything involving Ricky.

She thinks about band camp and when she found out she was pregnant.

She thinks about seeing him again once she knew she was pregnant and about giving birth to John.

She remembers the first time Ricky held John and all the times Ricky was over at her house to help out with their son.

She thinks about John's first birthday and the ones that followed and how Ricky always spent too much on presents.

She thinks about waking up from her coma and how the first person she saw, with exception to the doctors and nurses, was Ricky and how he's been a constant presence in her life ever since.

However, the thoughts most prevalent in her mind are the ones about her last encounter with Ricky. Ricky's words had scared her and she didn't know why. So, she did the first thing that came to mind – she ran away.

"There you are," a voice calls out, startling Amy. She can hear the sound of someone running towards her. "I've been looking everywhere," the voice continues as the person sits down on the bench next to her.

_Just hang around and you'll see  
There's nowhere I'd rather be  
If you love me, trust in me  
The way that I trust in you_

_Sometimes I run  
Sometimes I hide  
Sometimes I'm scared of you  
But all I really want is to hold you tight  
Treat you right  
Be with you day and night  
Baby all I need is time_

* * *

**AN: Well, I hope you liked this chapter…it's not really my favorite…I feel like I suck at writing George's character…but anyhoo…please please please review and let me know what you think…reviews make me very happy lol…**

**On a side note…one of the reasons it took me forever to update this chapter was because I'm currently in a television script writing class and our major project is to write a spec script…which is an episode for a currently running tv series…so of course I decided to do Secret Life lol…I think it turned out ok lol…and if you would like to read it just go to my homepage located on my profile page, then go to projects, then click on writing, then go to scripts and you'll find it there...or you can give me your email and i could send it to you...…it's called 'Trapped' and of course it's Amy/Ricky centered lol…if you read it I would really appreciate any feedback thanks :)**

**Coming soon Ch 8 I Turn to You and Ch 9 Already Gone (I'm excited about this chapter lol)**

**-Nichelle-**


	9. Chapter 8 I Turn to You

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: ****Candice, Ceci101, Maiqu, 421252Bubblesrocks, Ghostwriter626, edward-and-bella-forever, Ramonna, :D, anon, Tay, secretlifeaddicted44, hollowmeadow, Heaven829, Lady-Pandoraful, emma676, Blondechick19**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "I Turn to You" by Christina Aguilera. **

* * *

**Chapter 8: I Turn to You**

_When I'm lost in the rain_

_In your eyes I know I'll find the light_

_To light my way_

_And when I'm scared_

_And losing ground_

_When my world is going crazy_

_You can turn it all around_

_And when I'm down you're there_

_Pushing me to the top_

_You're always there_

_Giving me all you've got_

"There you are," a voice calls out, startling Amy. She can hear the sound of someone running towards her. "I've been looking everywhere," the voice continues as the person sits down on the bench next to her.

"Well, here I am," Amy shrugs. "What are you doing here?"

Ashley rolls her eyes. "Looking for you, obviously," Ashley says as she watches Amy out of the corner of her eye. "You weren't expecting Ricky were you?"

"No, of course not," Amy scoffs. Ashley stares at her, disbelievingly. "Well…it's just that in recent history every time I ran away it was him who came and found me." Amy frowns. "I guess not this time."

Ashley starts to laugh, receiving a glare from Amy. "Are you really that dense?"

"Excuse me?!"

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean it like that." Ashley continues to laugh. "But you have to be stupid if you honestly think he would come find you after what you did to him."

Amy huffs. "I didn't do anything to him."

Ashley stops laughing and cocks her head at her sister, eyeing her warily. "Yes you did. You practically ripped out his heart and stomped all over it."

Amy crosses her arms defensively. "Why do you even care? And plus, it's not like I told him I didn't love him."

Ashley also crosses her arms as she glares at Amy. "First of all, I do care. Ricky's like a brother to me. And second, saying you didn't love him would have been a whole lot easier than what you did. You just ran away."

Amy relaxes her defensive stance as tears start to prickle at her eyes. "I just didn't know what to do…or think."

Ashley nods. "It's totally understandable that you would be hesitant to even consider a relationship with Ricky."

"Exactly, so why even bother?" Amy inquires.

Ashley shakes her head. "He's changed, believe it or not. Trust me when I say that he's not the same womanizer who got you pregnant 15 years ago."

Amy sighs. "I know he's changed. I see the changes in him every day. And he's been so great to me these last few months. I just…"

"What exactly are you scared of?" Ashley asks. Amy looks up at her but remains quiet. "Seriously, Amy, what is it? Are you scared that everything will change, that it'll affect John, or that he'll cheat on you like Ben has? What has you running away when he confesses his love to you?"

Amy looks down at her hands. "All of the above," she mutters. Amy lifts her head again to look at her sister. "Why risk it?"

Ashley rolls her eyes. "Life is full of risks. Decisions and consequences – that's life. The truth of the matter is that if you never take any risks, then you can never truly experience life. So take a risk, Amy."

_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend, for a love_

_To keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

Amy stares at Ashley in shock as she contemplates what her sister has told her. She watches as Ashley lifts her hand and tucks some hair behind her ear. Amy's mouth drops in more shock as something catches her eye. "Is that…" she shakes her head, "…are you wearing a…an engagement ring?"

Ashley's eyes widen as she shakes her head and throws her left hand behind her back. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Amy rolls her eyes. "Oh yes you do. Let me see it." Ashley shakes her heard. "Oh come one, what are you scared of?" Amy mocks. Ashley rolls her eyes and holds out her hand. "Wow," Amy gasps. "This is beautiful."

"Thanks," Ashley smiles.

"So when did this happen?" Amy asks excitedly.

Ashley shrugs. "Last night."

"Oh," Amy looks up at Ashley curiously. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Ashley shrugs again. "It didn't seem too important and plus we had to deal with your problems first."

Amy frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Seriously Ash, I'm so sorry. Because of me and all my problems, your life has been practically pushed aside. First I got pregnant, then the accident and now this. I'm such a terrible sister and I'm so sorry that I've been selfish."

Ashley shakes her head. "You haven't been selfish."

Amy rolls her eyes. "You don't have to lie to me"

"Amy, you've had a hard life," Ashley insists. "I mean, you're not even thirty yet and you have a teenage kid and a third of your life was spent unconscious."

Amy sighs. "Forget about me. I'm tired of being selfish. Let's talk about you and Mark."

"De we have to?" Ashley groans.

Amy laughs, "Yes, we got to start planning your wedding soon."

Ashley cringes. "Do we have to do it now?"

Amy lets out an annoyed sigh. "I guess not, but I do have one question though."

"Ok, shoot,"

"Well, you and Mark have been together since high school and you two are barely getting engaged now, why the wait?" Ashley looks away sadly. "What's wrong?"

"Actually, it's not the first time that Mark has proposed," Ashley whispers, still looking away.

Amy's brow furrows in confusion. "He proposed before?"

Ashley slowly nods her head. "Twice."

"And you said no?" Amy asks incredulously.

"Not exactly. It just wasn't a good time for me."

Amy stares at her in disbelief. "Why not?"

"I just couldn't…I couldn't get married…" Ashley looks at Amy, "not without my sister."

Amy's jaw drops and her eyes start to water. "I'm so sorry," she mumbles as she throws her arms around Ashley and pulls her into a tight hug.

"Will you be my maid of honor?" Ashley inquires, her voice slightly muffled.

Amy pulls away from Ashley, smiling brightly. "Yes, yes, yes," she exclaims, clapping her hands excitingly. Amy abruptly stands up, pulling Ashley to her feet as well. Amy holds onto Ashley's hands and starts to jump up and down ecstatically. "You're getting married! You're getting married!" she chants. Slightly jumping, Ashley rolls her eyes at her sister's antics.

_When I lose the will to win_

_I just reach for you and_

_I can reach the sky again_

_I can do anything_

_'Cause your love is so amazing_

_'Cause your love inspires me_

_And when I need a friend_

_You're always on my side_

_Giving me faith_

_Taking me through the night_

Ashley pulls up in front of Ricky's house. Putting the car into park, she turns to face her sister. "Well, here we are," she announces.

"Here we are," Amy repeats forlornly, staring out the window at the house.

"Hey, cheer up," Ashley suggests, "it won't be that bad."

Amy glances over at Ashley worriedly. "What if he's changed his mind about loving me?" she asks timidly.

Ashley gapes at her. "You're joking right?" Amy shakes her head. "Seriously Amy, he loves you. He really loves you. Why can't you accept that?"

Amy shrugs her shoulders. "Why now?"

"Isn't it possible that he's always loved you?"

"I guess," Amy agrees, thinking of Adrian's words the day she was released from the hospital, "but why wait till now to tell me?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was because in the past both you and Ricky were in relationships. Or maybe he figured you wouldn't feel the same since you were always saying that you hated him. "

Amy cringes at Ashley's last statement. "I never really hated him though," she says quietly.

"I know," Ashley whispers just as quietly. Ashley pushes a button, unlocking the car doors. Ashley looks over at Amy and smirks. "Go get your man," she says pushing on Amy's shoulder.

Amy rolls her eyes, but gets out of the car and heads for the front door. Once there she waves at Ashley and watches as she drives away.

_For the arms to be my shelter_

_through all the rain_

_For truth that will never change_

_For someone to lean on_

_For a heart I can rely on through anything_

_For that one who I can run to…_

Amy quietly enters the house and slowly walks into the living room. There she finds Ricky sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. "Hey," Amy says softly.

Ricky's head jerks back at the sound of her voice. "Amy…you're here…um…hey…"

"Hey," Amy repeats as she goes to sit on the couch next to him. They sit there in awkward silence as Amy watches Ricky look around the room avoiding her eyes. Finally, Ricky looks at Amy just as she gets the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry…" they start simultaneously.

Amy furrows her eyebrows. "You have no reason to be sorry." Ricky scoffs. "Honestly, I should be the only one apologizing. I shouldn't have run away like I did."

Ricky narrows his eyes at her. "Then why did you?"

Amy shrugs. "I was scared," she whispers.

"Of me,"

Amy's eyes widen. "No, of course…well…not exactly."

"Care to explain?" Ricky asks, reaching out to run his hand over her arm.

"You've hurt me before and I'm scared of allowing it to happen again,"

"I would never intentionally hurt you," Ricky insists.

Amy smiles at him. "I know that. That's the complicated part."

"It doesn't have to be complicated."

"I know, I know but it's scary. And no matter how much I love you, I don't know if I can get past this fear of getting hurt."

Ricky smiles as he leans closer to Amy. "You love me?" he speaks softly into her ear.

"I do?" Amy gasps in shock.

Ricky pulls back and smirks. "You just said you did."

"Did I?"

Ricky laughs and pulls Amy into his arms. She unconsciously wraps her arms around his waist. "Do…you…love…me," he slowly whispers to her.

Amy closes her eyes, enjoying the feel of being wrapped in Ricky's arms. "Yes," she breaths. Ricky smiles at her declaration and places a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I love you, too," he replies causing Amy to smile into his chest as she dozes off. Ricky leans back against the arm of couch and closes his eyes.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Go away," Amy mumbles as she snuggles closer to Ricky. He laughs, as he pulls himself and Amy into a sitting position. Ricky stands up from the couch and heads for the front door as Amy slowly follows behind him. When she gets there, she leans around Ricky's frozen form to look at Adrian.

"Hey, Adrian, what's up?" Amy chirps.

"I needed to talk to you and Ricky actually."

"Ok, come on in," Amy smiles as she pushes Ricky out of the way, receiving a glare from Ricky in the process. Adrian enters the house, and the three make their way into the living room where Amy and Ricky sit on the couch and Adrian sits on one of the chairs.

"What do you need to talk to us about?" Ricky asks, speaking for the first time since Adrian's arrival.

"I don't really know how to tell you this," Adrian frowns.

"Just tell us, I'm sure it's not that bad," Amy comments causing Adrian's frown to deepen as Ricky glances worriedly between the two women.

"I'm pregnant."

_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend, for a love_

_to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do_

_for everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

* * *

**AN: well that's it for now…sorry about the cliffhanger but it was necessary lol…I hope you liked this chapter…and please please review to let me know what you think…hopefully I can have the next chapter up by the end of the holiday break…**

**The next chapter is called 'Already Gone'.**

**Sneak Peak:**

_**Adrian and Ricky sit on the couch hugging each other.**_

"_**Well, I'm guessing you two worked everything out," says a voice a few feet away. Ricky and Adrian pull apart and look up to find Amy and John standing at the entrance of the living room.**_

"_**Hey John, have fun with your uncle?" Ricky asks as he and Adrian stand up from the couch.**_

"_**Yeah, I guess," John answers, glancing between his mom, dad and Adrian suspiciously.**_

"_**Oh John, I forgot to tell you…you're gonna have a little brother or sister," Amy states with a small amount of sarcasm.**_

"_**Um, what?" is his confused response as he looks down at his mother's stomach.**_

"_**Oh, I'm not pregnant," Amy laughs sarcastically, "Adrian is."**_

"_**Oh…um…congrats," he mumbles, staring at Adrian and his dad awkwardly. "I'm just…I'm gonna go do my homework," he rushes out, as he speedily heads for his room.**_

_**:)**_

**Hope yall have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**-Nichelle**


	10. Chapter 9 Already Gone

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: I get the feeling that a lot of readers weren't too happy with Adrian popping up pregnant. Trust me this is still a Ricky/Amy story. I just love to write drama, and I've had this idea and others planned out since like the 3****rd**** chapter. The end result will still be Ricky and Amy together. **

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Ghostwriter626, seddie4lyfe203, BetweenTheTreesXx, Maiqu, vampirexmusic-passion, :D, soren919, emma676, HyDrOpYrO777**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. **

* * *

**Chapter 9: Already Gone**

_Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our fists held high  
It never would have work out right, yeah  
We were never meant for do or die  
I didn't want us to burn out  
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop  
I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

"I'm pregnant," Adrian confesses.

Amy's mouth drops in shock as she glares back and forth between Ricky and Adrian, taking notice of the barely visible baby bump underneath Adrian's loose shirt. Shaking her head incredulously, she grabs a set of keys off the coffee table and heads for the front door.

"Where are you going?" Ricky hisses, his face still etched in shock, as he follows Amy out of the living room.

"To pick up John," Amy answers without turning around.

"Let me…"

"No," she snaps, opening the front door and finally turning to face Ricky. "It's obvious that the two of you need to talk." Amy forces a smile and leans forward to gently kiss his cheek before walking out the door.

Ricky takes a deep breath and turns around to head back into the living room. Adrian, who hadn't moved from her spot in the chair, stares up at Ricky uneasily. Ricky sighs as he returns to the couch.

"Is everything ok?" Adrian inquires.

"I hope so," Ricky breathes, running a hand through his hair.

"Are you two…" Adrian starts. Ricky nods his head. "I'm sorry if I've caused any problems."

Ricky leans back into the couch and crosses his arms. "You're pregnant?" Adrian sighs and nods her head. "And I'm the father?" She nods again. "Are you sure?" he asks doubtfully.

Adrian glares at him. "Of course I'm sure."

Ricky stands and slowly paces in front of the couch. "How far along are you?"

Adrian looks down at her hands in her lap. "Almost 4 months," she admits.

"What?!" Ricky stops pacing and angrily stares down at her. "And you're just now telling me this?"

Adrian shrugs. "I didn't really know until now."

"How could you not know?" Ricky scoffs. Adrian shakes her head, not meeting Ricky's eyes. "Adrian?" She remains quiet. "Tell me!"

"I was in denial, OK!?!" she shouts, standing to her feet. "I mean, why would I want to have a baby with someone who doesn't even love me?" Adrian frantically wipes at a few tears that have managed to escape her eyes. "Now I know how Amy must have felt," she mutters.

Ricky flinches at the sound of Amy's name. He falls back on to the couch and buries his face in his hands. "How did this happen?"

Adrian rolls her eyes and sits down on the couch next to him. "You of all people should know how this works," she chuckles humorlessly.

Ricky lifts his head and glares at her. "You know that's not what I meant." He shakes his head angrily. "We were safe – we were very safe. This shouldn't have happened."

"Well it did. Birth control is only 99.99% effective, you know," Adrian claims.

"And what, we got to be the lucky .01%?" Ricky frowns.

Adrian scowls at Ricky angrily. "Is the idea of having a kid with me really that repulsive to you?"

"No," Ricky proclaims. "It's just that…well…we're not together anymore…"

Adrian gapes at him. "So? You weren't with Amy, yet you still had a baby with her."

"That's different," Ricky insists.

"How?!"

"It just is!" Ricky exclaims as he jumps to his feet and paces frenetically.

"WHY!" Adrian yells. "Because you're in love with her, because it's always been her," she ends quietly.

Ricky sits down in the chair Adrian had vacated. "I just never expected to have another child. John was supposed to be it for me."

"I know," Adrian mumbles sadly. "And I've stopped deluding myself a long time ago that we were ever meant to be. That's why I don't expect you to be involved in my or my kid's life."

"What?!" Ricky gasps, looking over at Adrian.

"I don't want to force you into you anything," she continues. "We didn't plan this and…"

"I want to there for my son or daughter," Ricky insists.

"You do," Adrian asks startlingly.

"Of course, just because this wasn't planned doesn't mean I'm going to abandon my kid. I didn't do it with John and I'm not going to do it with…"

"Your daughter," Adrian interrupts.

"A girl?" Adrian nods slightly. Ricky smiles brightly as he stands and goes to sit next to her. "I want to do this. I want to be there for my daughter."

Adrian returns the smile and nods her head. "Ok…we can do this," she says, leaning over to give Ricky a hug.

"Well, I'm guessing you two worked everything out," says a voice a few feet away. Ricky and Adrian pull apart and look up to find Amy and John standing at the entrance of the living room.

"Hey John, have fun with your uncle?" Ricky asks as he and Adrian stand up from the couch.

"Yeah, I guess," John answers, glancing between his mom, dad and Adrian suspiciously.

"Oh John, I forgot to tell you…you're gonna have a little brother or sister," Amy states with a small amount of sarcasm.

"Um, what?" is his confused response as he looks down at his mother's stomach.

"Oh, I'm not pregnant," Amy laughs sarcastically, "Adrian is."

"Oh…um…congrats," he mumbles, staring at Adrian and his dad awkwardly. "I'm just…I'm gonna go do my homework," he rushes out, as he speedily heads for his room.

"Was that necessary?" Ricky asks, staring at Amy cautiously.

Amy shrugs uncaringly. "He was going to find out sooner or later." Amy crosses her arms. "So, did you two figure everything out?"

Ricky looks at Adrian before returning his gaze to Amy. "We haven't discussed all the details yet but we're making progress."

Amy exhales deeply. "Ok, well I'm going to go…"

"Actually Amy," Adrian starts causing Amy to stop mid-step, "I was wondering if I could talk to you." Ricky glances at Adrian in confusion. "Please."

Amy sighs. "Yea, sure, I guess."

"Ok. Well, Ricky, I guess we can talk more later," Ricky nods his head hesitantly, not sure if he should leave the two women alone.

"Why don't you go see if John needs help with his homework," Amy suggests. Ricky silently agrees and slowly makes his way out of the room and up the stairs.

_Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
That doesn't always make you wanna cry  
It started with the perfect kiss then  
We could feel the poison set in  
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive  
You know that I love you so  
I love you enough to let you go  
I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

Adrian and Amy stare after Ricky silently. After a moment, they turn to face each other. "So," Amy starts, "how far along are you?"

"4 months," Adrian answers easily.

"Oh," Amy gasps in shock as she moves to sit on the couch, followed by Adrian. "That's further along than I expected. That means it happened before I even woke from my coma."

Adrian nods. "Of course, you knew that Ricky and I had stopped seeing each other."

Amy shrugs. "Well, I couldn't be sure since you two could never really stay away from each other for too long," she says coldly.

"Have we really gone back to this?" Adrian asks disappointedly.

"Back to what?"

"Back to the inherent hatred accompanied with being Ricky's girlfriend," Adrian points towards Amy, "and Ricky's baby's momma," she points towards herself. "I was kind of hoping we were past all that and were actually friends now."

Amy relaxes her cold demeanor. "Sorry," she breathes out, "and you're right. We have become friends these last few months and I would hate for this to stop any progress we've made." Adrian smiles at her. "So, as your friend, I'd like to know how it's going with you and Ricky."

Adrian runs a hand through her hair. "He says he wants to be there for her," Adrian places a hand on her slightly swollen belly, "but I'm not so sure I can trust him."

Amy shakes her head in disbelief. "You can't honestly believe that. I mean, we're talking about Ricky Underwood – the same Ricky who has been a great father to John."

Adrian sighs. "I know he'll be a good father."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm worried that…and this may sound selfish…but I'm worried that my daughter will always be second place to you and John."

Amy chuckles knowingly and wraps a comforting arm around Adrian's shoulders. "I used to feel the same way about you."

Adrian laughs doubtfully. "No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did. I was always worried that Ricky would put you first, before John – before me. I was afraid that you would replace me as John's mother."

"Like Ricky was afraid Ben would replace him as John's father,"

Amy nods. "Yea, but I was being silly because I couldn't be replaced anymore than Ricky could be. That's because Ricky's a great father – a great man. And you know deep down that he'll do everything in his power to be the best father he could ever be for your child."

"And you should know," Adrian smirks.

Amy laughs, "That's right." Amy's brow furrows slightly. "Did you say daughter?" she asks in shock. "You're having a girl?" Adrian nods. "Wow, that's great."

Adrian smiles but becomes serious again. "So, how will this affect you and Ricky?" Amy shrugs. Adrian smiles reassuringly. "Well, I hope you two can work through this. You and Ricky are meant to be together."

Amy bites her lower lip. "Yea…right," she says, smiling tightly.

_You can't make it feel right  
When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone, already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone  
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone  
Ahhh already gone, already gone, already gone  
Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye_

Amy heads up the stairs and stops in front of John's room. She leans against the doorframe and watches Ricky and John attempting algebra. Ricky looks up and smiles apprehensively at Amy.

"Hey John," Ricky whispers, "I need to go talk with your mom. You think you can handle this?" John nods and returns to his homework. Amy turns around and heads back down to the living room with Ricky following. They sit on the couch and Ricky wraps his arm around Amy's shoulders. Amy shrugs it off causing Ricky to frown.

"What's wrong?" Amy sighs and shakes her head. "Come on, you can tell me."

"What are we doing?" Amy asks softly.

Confused, Ricky shrugs his shoulders. "Talking."

Amy rolls her eyes. "No, I mean you and me. What are we doing? Do you really think we can make a relationship work?"

Ricky nods his head slowly. "Of course we can. Why do you ask?"

Amy scoffs and stares at him with disbelieving eyes. "Because your ex-girlfriend is pregnant."

Ricky groans and runs a hand through his hair. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"Were we even together?"

"Well not yet," Ricky shakes his head angrily. "Why are you pushing me away? We could be great together but no, you're gonna let Adrian get in the way."

"Don't blame her," Amy sighs.

"Why not?" Ricky scowls. "Everything was going perfect until she showed up and dropped her pregnancy bomb."

"It's still not her fault," Amy insists.

"Well then whose fault is it?"

"As I recall, it takes two people to make a baby," Amy says as she glares at Ricky.

Ricky slumps back against the couch, and throws an arm over his eyes. "I can't believe all this is happening," he mutters.

"Well, believe it," Amy whispers, "because in about 5 months you're about to be a father…again." Amy reaches out and grabs one of Ricky's hands in her own. Ricky lowers his other arm from his eyes and stares intently at their entwined hands. "I'm not saying that we can never be together…just not now. I think…I think I'm going to move in with my parents for the time being."

"What?" Ricky sits up and turns his body to fully face Amy. "You're just going to leave – leave me, leave John."

"Never," Amy exclaims, "I will never leave John. But I need time and space."

Ricky shakes his head sadly, removing his hand from Amy's. "Fine, whatever," he sighs in resignation as he leans back and closes his eyes.

Amy sits there for a second and just stares at him. "I do love you," she whispers as she leans over and kisses his forehead before she stands up and heads for the stairs.

Ricky takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. "I love you, too," he murmurs once she's out of hearing distance.

_I want you to know  
That it doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

_You can't make it feel right  
When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone, already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone_

* * *

**AN: Well there it is…I hope you liked it…let me know what you think and please review…the semester's almost over…mainly just got finals and projects left…so next the chapter should be up soon…definitely before Christmas**

**Upcoming Chapters: **

**Ch 10: I Hate Myself for Losing You (Amy regrets her decision) **

**Ch 11: If Only Tears Could Bring You Back (Tragedy strikes)**

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!**

**-Nichelle**


	11. Chapter 10: I Hate Myself For Losing You

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Maiqu, poohbearlover95, :D, heroeslover2922, you know me, Shailene101, HyDrOpYrO777, butterfly01, Ghostwriter626, br00kl0veswildfire, Lady Pandorable, vampire-princess01**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "I Hate Myself For Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson. **

* * *

**Chapter 10: I Hate Myself For Losing You**

_I woke up today  
Woke up wide awake  
In an empty bed  
Staring at an empty room  
I have myself to blame  
For the state I'm in today  
And now dying  
Doesn't seem so cruel  
And oh, I don't know what to say  
And I don't know anyway  
Anymore  
I hate myself for losing you  
I'm seeing it all so clear  
I hate myself for losing you  
What do you do when you look in the mirror  
And staring at you is why he's not here?_

Amy opens her eyes and slowly looks around Ashley's old room in the garage. The walls are bare and in one corner of the room is a stack of boxes containing old clothes and other items belonging to her, Ashley, John and Aaron. Amy looks at the clock on the nightstand and groans.

_3 a.m._

Slowly, Amy gets up from the bed, turns on the light and makes her way over to the boxes. She finds one that has 'AMY' printed across the top. She opens it and starts to dig through it. When all she finds is clothes, she shakes her head in frustration and pushes the box aside. She grabs the next box with her name on it and opens it. She smiles slightly as she pulls out a handful of journals.

Amy returns to the bed and sits crossed-legged on it with the journals spread out in front of her. She sorts them by the dates written on the covers. They range from her 6th grade year to her freshman year in college – a total of 10 journals. She grabs the first one, leans back against the headboard and begins to read.

_**Hours and several journals later…**_

Amy freezes as she reaches a particular entry. It was about Ricky. She had written it after he had helped her with her solo piece at band camp.

_*He's perfect. And beautiful. And nice. My cabin roommates tell me to be careful and not to trust him. But I think they're wrong. I can see myself falling for him.*_

The last line repeats itself in her head until she turns the page. She frowns as she reads the next entry that she wrote later that night.

_*I had sex. I think. It just happened and it was over before I even realized it was actually happening. And then he just left me. He didn't even say goodbye.*_

Amy slams the book shut and grabs the next one. She opens it to a random page and reads:

_*Despite all the stuff Ricky has put me through, I still can't hate him. I try to act like I do, but how can I truly hate him when he gave me the greatest gift ever – my son. Ben and my family would kill me if they knew this, but I found myself falling for Ricky again today. He was holding our son for the first time and he was just so happy. Seeing him happy made me happy. I can't really explain it, but for the first time in forever, the world seemed right.*_

Amy's frown melts into a smile as she closes the journal. She grabs the last one and flips to an empty page. Grabbing a pen off the nightstand she begins to write:

_*I love him, I do. And I'd shout it from the rooftops if I could. But I can't be with him. How can I be with him when… I just can't. It would never work, no matter how much I love him. Sometimes love just isn't enough.*_

As Amy finishes writing, there's a knock on the door. She closes the journal and calls out for whomever to come in. Anne walks in and over to the bed.

"I saw that the light was on. What are you doing up so early?"

Amy looks over at the clock, _6 am_,and shrugs. "I couldn't sleep," she says as she looks back at her mom.

Anne sighs, silently noticing the journals. "I wish you would talk to me. Why did you move back here?" Amy shakes her head and looks down at the journals spread out around her. "Please talk to me, Amy." Amy lifts her head, her eyes swimming with tears.

"I love him, mom," Amy whispers.

Anne sits down on the bed heavily, shock very apparent on her face. "When did this happen?"

Amy shrugs. "I've always loved him, I think. But we just barely told each other this past weekend."

"I'm confused," Anne admits as she pinches the bridge of her nose. "Why did you move out?"

Amy sighs heavily. "Something happened, and I just can't be with him right now. It's killing me to have to do this. But I'm afraid that being with him now, will just hurt me worse in the end."

_You got what you deserved  
Hope you're happy now  
'Cause everytime I think of her with you  
It's killing me  
Inside, and  
Now I dread each day  
Knowing that I can't be saved  
From the loneliness  
Of living without you  
And, oh  
I don't know what to do  
Not sure that I'll pull through  
I wish you knew  
I hate myself for losing you  
I'm seeing it all so clear  
I hate myself for losing you  
What do you do when you look in the mirror  
And staring at you is why he's not here?  
_

Ricky rolls over and groans as he reaches out and turns off the alarm. Opening one eye, he glances at the clock. _7:45._ "Crap," he cries as he jumps out of bed. Jogging out of the room and down the hall, he bangs on his son's bedroom door. "WAKE UP, JOHN! WE'RE LATE!" Running back to his room, he hastily gets dress.

_**10 minutes later…**_

"JOHN! WE'RE LEAVING NOW!" Ricky screams as he stands at the front door. Seconds later, John, whose hair is messy and with his backpack slung haphazardly over one shoulder, runs down the stairs, into the kitchen where he grabs an apple, and then out the front door which his father holds open. Ricky rolls his eyes, as he follows his son outside and to the car. Once there, Ricky pulls out of the driveway and heads for the middle school.

"Dad, what's the deal?" John asks curiously. "Ever since mom moved out, you've been acting weird. I mean, you're never late."

Ricky glances over at his son quickly, and then looks back at the road. "I don't know…it's just…well…" Ricky sighs. "Have you ever been in love? Truly in love with someone but the timing just isn't right."

"Um…no…" John mumbles, but Ricky doesn't hear him.

"It's all my fault, really. I shouldn't have stayed in that relationship for so long. If I was honest with myself, I would have realized it was over years ago." Ricky stops at a stop light and frustratingly runs a hand through his head of hair. John, who is only halfway listening, stares at his father blankly. "Then this had to happen. And just when I found who I really loved." Ricky pulls into the school parking lot, parks, and then turns to face John. "Do you know how frustrating it is?"

"Um…no…not really," he mutters as he grabs his backpack and opens the passenger door. "Um…later, Dad."

Ricky watches him go. Leaning back against his seat, he runs his hands over his face. "It's very frustrating," he says to himself. "Even more so when the person you love isn't even willing to try and make it work," Ricky sighs. He puts the car into drive and starts to pull out of the parking lot. _I need to talk to Amy. There has to be a way we can make this work._

_I hate myself for losing you  
And oh, I don't know what to do  
Not sure that I'll pull through  
I wish you knew  
And oh, I don't know what to say  
And I don't know anyway  
Anymore  
No, no_

Amy sits on her bed thinking. Her mom had left a while before, needing to take Aaron to school. There's a knock on the door and Amy slowly gets up from the bed and walks over to answer it. "What are you doing here?" she asks when she opens the door.

"I could ask you the same thing. Can I come in?" Amy nods her head and steps aside. "I was going to carpool to work with my father, but I saw your car parked outside and your mom leaving here. I was curious," Adrian says as she walks into the room. "Did you move back here?" she asks lamely, in which Amy answers with a nod as she walks over to the bed and sits down. "Why? I mean, I thought you and Ricky were…"

"I guess you thought wrong," Amy shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly.

Adrian shakes her head regretfully. "It's because of me, right? Because of this," she points at her small, almost unnoticeable baby bump.

Amy shakes her head. "No…no…of course not," she says, silently cursing the stutter she still had every once in a while.

Adrian rolls her eyes. "You're lying." Adrian sighs deeply. "Why did you leave him? He loves you. I mean, he really loves you. And you love him too, I know you do. So, what's the problem?"

"I just…it wouldn't work out, ok?"

"That's a bunch of bull, and you know it. You two are meant to be together. You have a kid together. It's faith."

Amy laughs. "You're joking with me, right? I mean, if I recall, you're pregnant with Ricky's child as well."

"That's not the point," Adrian insists.

"That's exactly the point!" Amy shouts.

Adrian exhales shakily. "I see. So, the truth comes out."

"No…no I didn't mean…"

"Yes, you did, Amy."

Amy runs a hand through her hair. "It's just…well…how did you feel being Ricky's girlfriend when another girl was having his child?"

Adrian looks up at Amy as realization dawns on her. "Oh."

"Yea, you know what it feels like. And considering how much you hated me back then, I can only imagine how much it sucks. I don't want to put myself through that. I can't."

"You're so stubborn. You're not even gonna give it a chance?"

Amy's ringing cell phone interrupts her response. "Hello," she answers as she smiles at Adrian apologetically. "Wait, hold up, John. Calm down, and try to talk slowly. What's wrong?" Adrian shifts anxiously as she watches the frown on Amy's face become deeper and deeper. "What did you say?" Amy gasps. "Oh my god. I'll be there soon. Just calm down, baby, everything will be fine. I'm on my way." Amy hangs up the phone and prepares to leave.

"Amy, wait a second, what's going on?" Adrian asks as she stares at the other woman worriedly.

Amy looks up at Adrian with tearful eyes. "It's Ricky…"

"What about him?" Adrian asks nervously.

"He's in the hospital…"

_I hate myself for losing you  
(I'm seeing it all so clear)  
I'm seeing it all so clear  
I hate myself for losing you  
What do you do when you look in the mirror  
And staring at you is why he's not here?  
What do you say when everything you said  
Is the reason why he left you in the end?  
How do you cry when every day you shout  
"Don't ever bring him back again?"  
I hate myself for loving you_

* * *

**AN: well here it is…I hope you liked it…please let me know what you think by reviewing…The next chapter is titled "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back"**

**MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**-Nichelle**


	12. Chapter 11:If Tears Could Bring You Back

**Disclaimer: The Secret Life of the American Teenager and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own NOTHING....**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: soren919, Shailene101, Ghostwriter626, poohbearlover95, :D, vampire-princess01, secretlife2010, edward-and-bella-forever, heroeslover2922, Maiqu, Damon's Future Wife, vampire-cookie-01, Blondchick19,**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "If Tears Could Bring You Back" by Midnight Sons. **

* * *

**Chapter 11: If Tears Could Bring You Back**

_How will I start  
Tomorrow without you here  
Who's heart will guide me  
When all the answers disappear  
_

Amy and Adrian make it to the hospital in record time. In the waiting room, they find John, Anne, Ashley and Aaron – all in tears. Amy runs over to her son and pulls him into a tight embrace.

"What happened?" Adrian chokes out, tears also streaming down her face.

"He was…" At that moment George charges into the room and goes immediately over to Anne.

"What happened?" he repeats frantically.

"He was…in a…a car accident," Anne answers hesitantly. "He had just dropped off John, and…"

"He collided with a garbage truck," Ashley finishes for her mom as she holds her younger brother close.

"Oh god," Amy gasps as she holds onto John tighter.

"How is he?" Adrian breaths out as she sinks into a chair.

"We don't know," Anne replies. "They took him into surgery and they won't tell us anything else."

"No!" John cries out causing everyone to look over to where he has pulled away from Amy. "He's gonna be ok. He just has to be," he sobs before running down a hallway and away from the waiting room. Amy can only watch him go as she falls to the ground in a sobbing heap.

_Is it too late  
Are you too far gone to stay  
This one's forever  
Should never have to go away  
What will I do  
You know I'm only half without you  
How will I make it through_

John leans against a wall and slides down to the floor as he vaguely remembers the last time one of his parents was hospitalized by a car accident.

_**Flashback, 2 weeks after Amy's accident…**_

_Ricky walks into the hospital holding his crying 4-year-old son. The abscense of his mother was finally taking its toll on John and Ricky decided that he needed to see her. _

_Walking into Amy's hospital room, Ricky stops short at the sight of Amy hooked up to several machines and looking lifeless. Ricky slowly walks towards the bed and John immediately stops crying when he sees his mom. _

"_Mommy," John squeals, stretching out his arms. Ricky gently places him on the bed, mindful of the tubes and wires, and watches as John wraps his small arms around Amy. _

_After a few seconds, John becomes upset at his mom's unresponsiveness. "Wake up, mommy, wake up," he cries. Teary eyed, he looks up at Ricky. "Daddy, why won't mommy wake up?"_

_**End flashback…**_

"It's not fair," he sobs as he pulls his legs into his chest and buries his head into his hands. _Please God, please don't take my dad from me. Not when I just got my mom back. Please don't break up my family again._

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give  
If you returned to me someday  
Somehow, someway  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

With the help of Adrian, Amy gets up from the floor. In a daze, she walks over to the corner of the room and sits in a chair. Pulling her legs to her chest, she curls into a ball and continues to cry. _Please, please don't do this,_ she silently prays for the first time in a long time. _Please God; don't take away the man I love. Please don't deprive my son of his father. _Amy cries harder at the thought of her son.

Unconsciously, she stands from her seat and starts to walk out of the room. She doesn't hear the questions of 'where are you going?' from her family. Down the hallway, she catches sight of her son, on the floor and shoulders shaking from his heaving sobs. Looking up, she closes her eyes and continues to pray.

_Please, for the sake of John, don't do this. Don't take away his father so shortly after he just got his mother back. What kid deserves that? John deserves the best. Especially to have two parents who love him and will always be there for him. Please, don't take away Ricky. Please._

_I'd cry you an ocean  
If you'd sail on home again  
Waves of emotion  
Will carry you, I know they can  
_

George and Anne sadly watch their daughter walk out of the room. George turns to Anne, his red-rimmed eyes filled with rage.

"Why?" he questions. "What the hell did this family do in a past life to deserve such tragedy?" Anne can barely shrug her shoulders as more tears fall from her eyes. "I mean, first Amy gets pregnant at such a young age, which turned into a blessing, but still. Then Amy's in an accident and doesn't wake from a coma for 10 years and now this. Tell me, please, where's the silver lining?"

"I don't know," Anne chokes out. "Poor John," she whispers, "he must be taking this the hardest."

"I bet," George shakes his head miserably.

_Just love will guide you  
And your heart will chart the course  
Soon you'll be drifting  
Into the arms of your true north  
_

Ashley walks up to Amy and wraps her arms around her sister. "It'll be ok," she whispers.

Amy pulls away and turns to face Ashley. "Will it?"

Ashley smiles comfortingly. "Of course it will. You, John and Ricky have been through way too much to be separated now. I mean look at you. Yeah, your accident put you in a 10-year coma but you still had some fight left in you and you came back to us. Do you seriously think Ricky will allow another car accident to try and separate you three again? No. He's going to fight and fight hard. He'd never willing leave the only family he's ever had without a fight."

Amy nods her head and looks down the hallway at her son still sitting on the floor. "But, what about John? He doesn't need this. He shouldn't have to go through this pain again."

"John is strong, he can survive more than you think," Ashley says, smiling softly at the thought of her nephew.

"I never wanted this though. When I decided to keep him, I thought I was doing what was best. Was I being selfish? What if I had given him up for adoption? Would he have been better off?"

Ashley shakes her head angrily. "No," she insists. "You know, I think it's a bunch of bullcrap when people say 'what if'. You can't change the past, and you should know that better than anyone."

Amy nods her head in agreement. "I know, and I love John with all my heart. He's the best thing to ever happen to me. But what kind of life has he lived because he was parented by a couple of teenagers."

Ashley rolls her eyes. "A good one because he had two parents who loved him unconditionally despite them being teenagers."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Yes, I am." Ashley wraps an arm around Amy's shoulder and starts to guide her back to the waiting room. "Come on," she says, "let's go sit down."

_Look in my eyes  
And you will see a million tears have gone by  
And still they're not dry_

Aaron walks down the hallway, passing his older sisters going in the opposite direction. Eventually, he finds his slightly older nephew sitting on the floor against a wall. He slides down the wall and sits next to him. John looks up at him and smiles slightly at his uncle through his tears.

"Hey um," Aaron starts, "how you holding up?"

John shrugs his shoulders. "Not too good."

"Wanna talk about it?" Aaron asks softly.

"Life really sucks," John scowls. "You're lucky, you know."

"How?"

"You've had both your parents all your life and they're together."

Aaron furrows his eyebrows. "Do you want your parents together?" he asks curiously.

John shrugs again. "Well yeah…I mean doesn't every kid want that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"And these last weeks were great. Yeah, mom and dad weren't technically together, but just all three of us being in the same house was almost perfect." Aaron nods in understanding. "I guess we should head on back," John whispers as he slowly stands from his position.

"Yeah, you're right kiddo," Aaron smirks as he also stands.

John glares at him. "You remember I'm older than you, right?"

Aaron laughs. "But I'm still you're uncle." John rolls his eyes as they head down the hallway.

They walk back into the waiting room. While Aaron goes to sit by Ashley, John goes to sit by Amy and wraps his arms around her. The room is silent as they all sit and wait.

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give  
If you returned to me someday  
Somehow, someway  
If my tears could bring you back to me  
_

A doctor in a white coat enters the waiting room unnoticed. He walks over to the nurses' station and quietly asks a question. A nurse points out the group in the corner of the room. He strides over to where they sit and softly clears his throat.

George looks up from his lap and stares at the doctor curiously. "Yes?" he inquires nervously. The sound of his voice causes everyone else to look up.

"Are you all here for Ricky Underwood?"

"Is he ok?" Amy blurts out.

"Well," the doctor starts, "his surgery was a success and he's now stable." There's an audible sigh of relief from everybody.

"What's the damage, doc?" George questions.

"His leg was fractured in two places and required a cast. Also, a couple of ribs were fractured, but thankfully they did not puncture the lungs or any other organs. There was also no serious head drama. He's in recovery now, and should hopefully be awake within the next hour. You all can find him in room 253." Amy and John immediately go to find the room, quickly followed by Adrian.

George walks up to the doctor and holds out his hand, "Thanks, doc," he says as they shake hands.

"Thank you," Anne whispers as her, George, Ashley and Aaron head for Ricky's recovery room.

_I hold you close  
And shout the words I only whispered before  
For one more chance, for one last dance  
There's not a thing I would not endure  
_

Anne, George, Ashley and Aaron walk into Ricky's recover room. Amy and John sit on either side of the bed – each holding one of Ricky's hands – and Adrian stands next to Amy. The four of them move to circle around the bed – Ashley next to Adrian, Aaron and Anne next to John, and George stands at the end of the bed.

"Thank God, he's alive," Anne smiles thankfully. Everyone nods in agreement – their bodies now free of the tension from the last few hours as they quietly watch Ricky as he sleeps. Eventually, they become restless, and one by one they move to sit in the various chairs and couch in the room, until only Amy and John are left at Ricky's side.

"Come back to us," Amy whispers as she leans her head against Ricky's shoulder – her eyes closed.

"Uh…mom…" John whispers as he stares down at the hand he holds in shock.

Eyes still closed, Amy slightly shakes her head. "Not now, John," she says softly.

"Mom…" John says a little louder, his voice urgent. Amy slowly opens her eyes and looks up at her son. "He moved," John whispers excitedly.

"What…" Amy looks down in shock and watches amazed at the slightly moving hand she holds. "Oh my God," she gasps loudly, drawing the attention of everyone else. Amy looks up in time to see Ricky's eyes flutter. "Oh Ricky," she cries softly, squeezing his hand. The others have gathered around the bed again.

"Dad," John whispers, "are you awake?"

Ricky's head moves at the sound of the voice. His eyes constrict tightly shut before they slowly start to open. "John," he croaks out before he is overcome by a dry cough. Ashley hands Amy a glass of water and she helps Ricky to drink some of it. "Amy," Ricky whispers, his voice now not as hoarse sounding, as he looks around at the various faces above him. "What's going on?"

_If only tears could bring you back to me  
If only love could find a way  
What I would do, what I would give  
If you returned to me someday  
Somehow, someway  
If my tears could bring you back to me_

* * *

**AN: It's 2010!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! This chapter was a probably a little sad but I hope you still enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Upcoming Chapters: **

**Ch 12: Too Little Too Late – Someone tries to come back into Amy's Life **

**Ch 13: Let it go – Ricky has some issues to deal with**

**-Nichelle**


	13. Chapter 12: Too Little, Too Late

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: OMG Have yall seen that Secret Life preview were Amy and Ricky kiss or almost kiss…it's probably not gonna happen till the end of the season…but omg…seeing it made me all giddy lol **

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Ghostwriter626, itsme!, br00kl0veswildfire, Maiqu, Damon's Future Wife, :D, HyDrOpYrO777, butterfly01, edward-and-bella-forever, jojobevco, vampire-cookie-01, bxalbagirl, Lnbizier96, Pagan-Angel13**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "Too Little, Too Late" by JoJo. **

* * *

**Chapter 12: Too Little, Too Late**

_Come with me  
Stay the night  
You say the words but boy it don't feel right  
What do ya expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)  
You take my hand  
And you say you've changed  
But boy you know your begging don't fool me  
Because to you it's just a game (You know it's just too little too late)_

"How was school?" Amy asks as she and John walk into the hospital, a couple of days after the accident.

"It was okay," John answers, shrugging his shoulders. Amy laughs, shaking her head as they get on the elevator and head up to the recovery floor. "What?" John stares at his mom curiously. "What's so funny?"

"Just the fact that kids never really change," Amy laughs. "That's how I would answer my mom when she would ask me about school." They both laugh as they step off the elevator and head for Ricky's room.

"Amy," someone calls out as they pass the waiting room. Amy freezes as she recognizes the voice. Shaking her head in annoyance, she continues walking – faster this time. "Amy, can I please talk to you?" the man calls out after her.

"No," she snaps as she practically runs down the hall, leaving John to stare between his quickly disappearing mother and a familiar face.

_So let me on down  
'Cause time has made me strong  
I'm starting to move on  
I'm gonna say this now  
Your chance has come and gone  
And you know…_

"Who the hell does he think he is?" Amy growls as she stomps her way into Ricky's room.

Ricky sits up in the bed with wide eyes. "Excuse me?" he asks. "Is everything ok?"

Amy heads over to the chair closest to the bed and falls into it. "I don't know…it's just…ugh…the idiot."

Ricky furrows his eyebrows. "To whom, exactly, are you referring?"

"Ben," Amy sighs. "He's here."

"Here where?"

"Here in the hospital," she answers, exasperated.

"Why?"

"I don't know…he says he wants to "talk"" she replies, using her hands to make air quotes.

"Do you want to talk to him?" Ricky inquires calmly.

"Uh…well…should I talk to him?" Ricky shrugs his shoulders. Amy takes a deep breath and exhales loudly. "I guess I might as well get it over with." Amy stands, waves slightly at Ricky, and walks out of the room. She doesn't notice the angry and most likely jealous look on his face.

_It's just too little too late  
a little too wrong  
And I can't wait  
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)  
You say you dream of my face  
But you don't like me  
You just like the chase  
To be real  
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)_

"So…"

"So…"

"So, how are you doing, John? How's school?"

"Ok, I guess," he answers as he stares warily at Ben.

"That's good. And how's your mom?" Ben asks.

"Why?" Ben stares at him blankly. "Why do you care?" John asks as he crosses his arms.

"Because I care about your mom," Ben insists.

"That's not what I heard," John mumbles.

"What did you say?"

John rolls his eyes. "Nothing."

"You clearly said something. Now, what was it?" Ben asks, annoyed with the teen.

"How's Madison?" John smirks.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," Ben replies, frustrated.

John laughs. "I could say the same to you about my mom."

"John!" The teen looks over his shoulder at his mother. "Why don't you go see your father?" John nods and walks away.

_I was young  
And in love  
I gave you everything  
But it wasn't enough  
And now you wanna communicate (You know it's just too little too late)  
Go find someone else  
In letting you go  
I'm loving myself  
You got a problem  
But don't come asking me for help  
'Cause you know..._

John walks into the room and is startled by the furious glare on his father's face. "Umm…is everything ok, dad?" he asks as he moves to sit in the chair by the bed.

"What does Ben want?" Ricky asks abruptly.

John's eyes widen like a deer caught in the headlights. "Umm…"

"Does he want to get back with your mother?"

John shrugs. "I…uh…I don't know."

Ricky sighs. "John…do you like Ben?"

"Honestly?" Ricky nods. "No."

"Why not?"

John shrugs. "I guess because when I was little he was with mom instead of you."

"But you liked Adrian."

John shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Not really…she was just nicer to me than Ben was."

"I see," Ricky sighs, looking down at his hands.

"Dad?" Ricky looks over at his son. "Are you jealous of Ben?"

_It's just too little too late  
a little too wrong  
And I can't wait  
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)  
You say you dream of my face  
But you don't like me  
You just like the chase  
To be real  
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)_

Amy walks closer to Ben with her arms crossed. He reaches out for her and leans forward.

"What the hell are you doing?" Amy quietly exclaims as she pushes him away.

"I was…I was trying to kiss you," Ben explains.

Amy scoffs. "Why?"

"Because I love you," he answers as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh dear," Amy shakes her head as she tries to hold back the laughter that wants to bubble forth. "Are you delusional or something?"

"No," Ben says, shaking his head in confusion. Unable to hold it in any longer, Amy begins to laugh. "Look, if this has anything to do with Madison," Amy stops laughing, "well, we're over. I don't love her, I love you."

Amy stares at Ben blankly. At that moment, Ashley walks by, a curious look in her eyes as she waves slightly and continues walking to Ricky's room.

Once Ashley is out of sight, Ben turns to Amy with pleading eyes. "Can we please just sit down and talk?" Amy sighs but nods in agreement. They move to sit in the waiting area.

_I can love with all of my heart, baby  
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)  
With a player like you I don't have a prayer  
That's no way to live  
Ohhhh... mmm nooo  
It's just too little too late  
Yeaahhhh..._

"What the hell is going on out there?" Ashley asks as she walks into the room.

"That's what I'd like to know," Ricky growls.

Ashley laughs. "Are you…" she laughs harder, "are you jealous?"

"No," "Yes," Ricky and John say simultaneously.

"John," Ricky snaps.

"What?" John looks around the room innocently. "You are."

"Are not."

John and Ashley laugh. "Are too," they say together.

_It's just too little too late  
a little too wrong  
And I can't wait  
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)  
You say you dream of my face  
But you don't like me  
You just like the chase  
To be real  
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)_

"This is ridiculous," Amy exclaims, crossing her arms as she stares at Ben. "We have nothing to discuss."

"Yes, we do," Ben insists. "Let's talk about us."

"There is no **us**," Amy chuckles humorlessly. "The two of us ended when it became **three**."

Ben sighs. "How many times do I have to apologize and tell you that the thing between Madison and I is over?"

Amy uses her left hand to rub her temple. "This is going nowhere. And what makes you think I'm even single anymore? For all you know I could be with…"

"What?" Ben interrupts. "With Ricky? I doubt that," he laughs, almost cruelly. "I mean, aren't he and Adrian expecting their own bundle of joy." Amy's face blanches. "That's what I thought."

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Amy states, glaring at him.

Ben stands and moves to kneel in front of Amy. "When are you going to see that you and me are meant to be? The good girl with the good boy – that's how it's suppose to be – just like the bad girl with the bad boy."

Amy's glare softens. "I use to believe that. I use to think you were my hero – my knight and shining armor." Ben smiles brightly. "However, that was before you cheated on me."

Ben's smile falters. "But you forgave me – we got back together."

"A mistake," she claims. Ben returns to his seat, looking defeated.

"You don't mean that," he says softly. "You love me. You said you'd always love me."

Amy looks over at Ben sympathetically. "In a way, I'll always love you…"

"But…"

"But…I'm not in love with you anymore."

"I see," Ben sighs. "You're in love with Ricky?" It was a question, but he already knew the answer.

Amy closes her eyes, thinking about that. "Yeah. I am."

_It's just too little too late  
a little too wrong  
And I can't wait  
But you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)  
You say you dream of my face  
But you don't like me  
You just like the chase  
To be real  
It doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)_

* * *

**_AN: This story will be coming to an end soon. For my next story, I have 3 ideas, but I need yalls help in deciding which one to write. I made a poll, which you can find on my profile, so that you can vote on which one you like best and/or you can also vote by just telling me in a review. The different story ideas are:_**

_*******Letters From War**** – Ricky enlists in the military and has been deployed to Iraq. One day, Amy receives a letter from him. Can their written correspondences lead to something more?**_

_*******The Prince and the Pauper**** – AU Set in early 1900s. Amy is betrothed to the Steel Prince Benjamin. But what happens when she meets street born and raised, Ricky.**_

_*******Sweet Revenge**** – AU Influenced by the novel 'Sweet Revenge' by Nora Roberts. It's been 15 years since Ricky Underwood has escaped his father – he's spent the last 10 years planning his revenge. But what happens when he encounters the beautiful Amy Juergens? Will love or lust for a pretty girl spoil his plans?**_

**_Upcoming Chapters: _**

**_Ch 13: Let It Go – Ricky has some issues to deal with_**

**_Ch 14: Selfish – Ricky makes a decision_**

**_Ch 15: This Is Home – Epilogue _**

**_-Nichelle_**


	14. Chapter 13: Let it Go

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: Thanks to those who read and reviewed: jojobevco, Maiqu, Shailene101, livefordreams, kxtreme16, hawksgirl2481, Ghostwriter626, vampire-cookie-01, bjq, K-Marie-M, Damon's Future Wife, emma676, HyDrOpYrO777, Vampirekissesx908**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "Let it Go" by Kyle. **

* * *

**Chapter 13: Let it Go**

_Every night I lie awake_

_My thoughts come rollin' in_

_Love is won, love is lost_

_And loves that might have been_

_I see the ghost of long lost hope_

_And shattered broken dreams I know it's time_

_to carry on It's harder than it seems_

Ricky lies in his hospital bed, flipping through a magazine and thinking about Ben and Amy – mostly Amy. It's been almost a week since Ben had stopped by the hospital and Amy has been tight-lipped about that conversation ever since. Ashley is positive that they didn't get back together but Ricky isn't so sure.

_Why wouldn't she get back with him, _Ricky thinks, _he's the love of her life after all._ Ricky tosses the magazine aside, grabs the remote and begins to flip through the channels. "Not to mention, he's rich," he mumbles.

After a few minutes of channel surfing, Ricky turns off the TV and sets the remote down. Burying his face into his hands, Ricky groans loudly as he falls back against his pillows. "Why do I have to love her?" he grumbles.

_I gotta let it go, all the pain and strife_

_I gotta let it go, and move on with my life_

_I gotta let it go, it's time to let it be_

_I gotta let it go, and then I can be free_

Amy and John walk into Ricky's hospital room. "Hey, Dad! How's it going?"

"I'm still here," Ricky sighs.

Amy rolls her eyes. "Well, look at the bright side," she pats his hand, "at least you're alive."

Ricky smiles. "True. So, how was your day? Having fun teaching the little kiddies music?"

"Uh…I would love to sit and chat," Amy starts, looking at her watch, "but I gotta go." Ricky's brow furrows as Amy walks over to John and kisses the top of his head.

"Where are you going?" Ricky asks, confused.

Ignoring him, Amy looks over at John as she walks out of the room. "Aunt Ashley is going to pick you up later. Be good for your father. Love you. Bye." She hustles out the door, leaving a befuddled Ricky and a cautious John to stare after her.

"What the hell is going on?" Ricky wonders out loud.

John shrugs his shoulders as he takes a seat next to his dad. "I don't know."

"Where is your mom going?"

Again, John shrugs. "I don't…"

"Boy, if you say 'I don't know' one more time," Ricky threatens half-heartedly. "Now, I know you know, so I'll ask you one more time."

"I can't," John interjects.

"Where…is…your…mom…going?" Ricky asks slowly.

"I promised I wouldn't tell you," John whispers looking anywhere but at his father.

Ricky chuckles softly at the idea of Amy telling John not to tell him something. "Oh, come on Johnny. It's me – good ole dad – you can tell me."

John rolls his eyes. "That hasn't worked with me since I was 10."

Ricky laughs. "Touché. But seriously John, where'd your mom go."

John sighs and finally relents. "Ok fine. I'll tell you." He takes a deep breath. "She got a second job," he says simply.

"SHE WHAT? WHERE?" Ricky explodes angrily.

"I don't know," John whispers.

"I can't believe this," Ricky mumbles, breathing deeply. At that moment, Ashley walks into the room.

"Hey Ricky…John, ready to go?" John nods and heads for the door.

"Ashley, my good friend." Ashley and John stop and Ashley turns to face Ricky with a blank expression. "What is this second job Amy has?"

Ashley smiles falsely. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she replies before she and John quickly leave.

_The times gone by,_

_I can't deny_

_They've left their mark on me_

_Don't understand the master plan_

_That only God can see_

_I need to know, I wanna go_

_And lock it all inside_

_I wonder why and say goodbye_

_And gather up my pride_

Ricky lies in bed frustrated and thinking about Amy – again. He wonders about what kind of job she could have gotten and why she would get the second job in the first place. The more he thinks about it, the more he fears the answers.

"Hello Ricky, how are you feeling today?" Ricky looks up and smiles at the doctor.

"I'd be great if you were here to tell me that I can finally go home." The doctor frowns causing a knot to form in Ricky's stomach. "What's wrong, doc?" he asks nervously.

"We're going to have to keep you here a bit longer."

"Why?"

"It's your leg. The bones aren't healing as fast as they should and we're afraid that if we release you – even on crutches – the bones won't heal correctly."

"How long are we looking at?"

"We're not sure. Another week, maybe."

Ricky snorts. "Another week," he repeats angrily. "That's just great."

"I'm sorry," the doctor says softly before leaving.

Ricky falls back against his pillows, groaning in frustration. Grabbing his cell, he quickly texts Amy – _I need to talk to you ASAP._

_I gotta let it go, all the pain and strife_

_I gotta let it go, and move on with my life_

_I gotta let it go, it's time to let it be_

_I gotta let it go, and then I can be free_

At almost 10 o' clock at night, Amy walks into Ricky's room. "You have no idea how hard it was to convince the nurse to let me back here after visiting hours," she announces once she's sure Ricky is awake.

"How'd you do it?" Ricky asks.

Amy shrugs. "Told her I was your fiancé," she says nonchalantly. Ricky's mouth drops, but he recovers quickly before Amy can notice. "Thankfully, she's a hopeless romantic and once I told her that she practically pushed me into here."

Ricky smirks. "Clever of you."

"Yeah, so, what did you need to talk about?" Ricky frowns. "Is everything ok?"

"No," Ricky's frown deepens. "Everything is not ok."

"What's wrong?"

"What's this I hear about you getting a second job?" Ricky blurts out.

Amy blanches, and then crosses her arms. "I don't see how that's any of your business. I can get another job if I want to."

"What kind of job?"

"Waitressing," Amy shrugs.

"What? Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why the second job?"

Amy rolls her eyes, avoiding eye contact with Ricky. "I need the money."

"But what about teaching?"

"It's not enough," Amy says, looking Ricky in the eye.

Ricky frowns. "What are you trying to say?"

"With you being in the hospital, someone has to take care of John…and you."

Ricky's hands tighten into fists. "I don't need you to take care of me," he says through clenched teeth.

Amy chuckles softly, shaking her head. "Don't get all prideful on me," she says before slipping out of the room.

_I know I have the will to carry on_

_Life's made me strong_

_I've learned too much to turn my head away_

_I'm gonna stay_

_And brick by brick I'll build my life again_

_And I'll begin_

_To learn from all of my mistakes_

_Then let them fly away_

"Ricky Ricardo!" George calls out, walking into the room. "How you feeling?" Ricky rolls his eyes but remains silent. "Hey, what's wrong?" George asks as he takes a seat next to the bed.

"Nothing," Ricky grumbles.

"Uh huh," George crosses his arm.

"It's just…" Ricky starts slowly.

"What?"

Ricky sighs in frustration. "I just hate that Amy got a second job," he growls. George laughs causing Ricky to frown. "It's really not that funny."

George laughs harder. "Yeah it is," George shakes his head. "What's really bothering?"

Ricky runs his hand through his hair. "I have to stay in the hospital for at least another week," he mutters.

"Hmmm, I see," George nods his head.

"Do you,"

"Of course I do," George chuckles. "You're pride is getting the better of you."

"What…no…my pride is just fine," Ricky huffs, crossing his arms.

George rolls his eyes, still chuckling softly. "Of course it is. You're just mad that you have to let Amy take care of you now, instead of the other way around."

"Well, I am the man. It's my responsibility to take care of my family."

"True. But sometimes you just gotta let go of your pride and let someone else take care of you," George says seriously.

Ricky sighs, nodding his head in agreement. "But it's not Amy's responsibility to take care of me."

George raises an eyebrow. "Do you want it to be?"

_I gotta let it go, all the pain and strife_

_I gotta let it go, and move on with my life_

_I gotta let it go, it's time to let it be_

_I gotta let it go_

* * *

**AN: Well I hope you like it…review and let me know what you think**

**Upcoming Chapters: **

**Ch 14: Selfish – Ricky makes a decision**

**Ch 15: This Is Home – Epilogue **

**Also, Go and check out one of my new stories, **_**Last Chance.**_

**-Nichelle**


	15. Chapter 14: Selfish

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: So sorry for the wait but here it is.**

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Ghostwriter626, .face, jojobevco, :), butterfly01, Maiqu, Damon's Future Wife, Soraya the All Speaker, Heaven829, kaylaruthy, prettyinpink21**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "Selfish" by Nsync. **

* * *

**Chapter 14: Selfish**

_I just don't understand_  
_Why you're running from a good man baby_  
_Why you wanna turn your back on love_  
_Why you've already given up_  
_See I know you've been hurt before_  
_But I swear I'll give you so much more_  
_I swear I'll never let you down_  
_Cause I swear it's you that I adore_  
_And I can't help myself babe_  
_Cause I think about you constantly_  
_and my heart gets no rest over you_

Ricky takes a deep sigh of relief as George rolls his wheelchair through the hospital glass doors. George laughs. "Happy to be out?" he asks.

"Hell yeah!" Ricky exclaims as George stops alongside the car. George goes to help him, but Ricky shakes his head 'no.' Gripping the arms of the wheelchair, he stands cautiously on the walking cast on his right leg. George smiles proudly as Ricky maneuvers himself into the car by himself. George returns the wheelchair to the hospital, then gets into the driver seat of the car and drives out of the parking lot.

"Where's Amy and John?" Ricky asks. George smiles at him, shrugging his shoulders. "Please don't tell me their throwing me a party." George laughs, nodding his head. "Why?" Ricky groans.

"Amy called it payback." Ricky laughs as George pulls into the driveway.

Ricky steps out of the car and stops when he notices that George isn't moving. "Aren't you coming?"

"You go ahead. I have to…get some ice." Brows furrowed, Ricky nods his head. Walking up to his front door, he listens as George reverses out of the driveway and drives away. Ricky opens the door and heads for the living room.

"WELCOME HOME!" Ricky smirks at the sight of an empty room with exception of Amy and John holding a hastily made 'welcome home' poster.

"This is awesome," he says as he goes up to John and gives him a hug. He then hugs Amy. "Thank you," he whispers into her ear.

Amy pulls back and smiles up at him. "You're welcome," she whispers back. Amy and John pull Ricky into the dining room where Amy had a simple dinner waiting. "So, Ricky, how's it feel?" Amy asks once they're all settled at the table.

"Yeah, dad, glad to be out of the hospital?" John interjects.

Ricky nods his head. "Definitely. I was getting sick of that bed."

"I bet," Amy laughs. They continue to eat, making small talk.

After dinner, they go into the living room and put in a movie. Halfway through, John is fast asleep, his head resting on the arm of the couch. Ricky turns to look at Amy and notices her eyes drooping sleepily. Ricky wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close so that her head is leaning on his shoulder.

Amy's eyes pop open and she shrugs out of his arms. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"What? I can't hold you?" Ricky replies defensively.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

Amy shakes her head as she stands up from the couch and moves to stand over John. She shakes him gently. "Come on, John, time to go to bed." John opens his eyes slowly and nods his head groggily. He gets up and sleepily makes his way up the stairs.

Once John is out of sight, Amy starts to pick up around the living room. "Amy, look at me." She shakes her head and continues picking up. Ricky sighs, stands and grabs Amy gently by the elbow. "Talk to me, please. What are you thinking?"

Amy runs a hand through her hair. "We're not together," she says simply as she grabs their cups off the coffee table and walks into the kitchen. Ricky follows her.

"But we can be," he insists.

"Can we?" Amy counters, rinsing out the cups.

Ricky groans in frustration. "This has nothing to do with Adrian being pregnant. You and I both know it. So, what's the problem?" Amy shakes her head and begins to walk away but Ricky stops her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. "I love you," he persists. "I love you so much. Why are you pushing me away?"

Amy shakes her head frantically, desperate tears falling down her face. "Please, let me go," she whispers. Ricky drops his arms and his face twists tortuously as he watches her escape from the room.

_You can call me selfish_  
_But all I want is your love_  
_You can call me hopeless (hopeless)_  
_Cause I'm hopelessly in love_  
_You can call me unperfect_  
_But who's perfect?_  
_Tell me what do I gotta do_  
_To prove that I'm the only one for you_  
_What's wrong with being selfish?_

Amy walks into the coffee shop and smiles when she sees her mom and sister sitting at a table in the back. She walks over to them and they both stand to give her a hug. They sit and Amy graciously accepts the coffee Ashley hands her.

"How's Ricky doing?" Anne asks.

Amy shrugs her shoulders. "Good, I guess. He's happy to be finally out of the hospital."

"What's wrong?" Ashley asks abruptly.

"N-n-nothing," Amy stutters.

Ashley rolls her eyes. "Still can't lie for the life of you."

"Is everything ok?" Anne inquires, reaching out to place her hand on Amy's. A single tear slides down Amy's face, causing Anne and Ashley to glance at each other worriedly.

Amy wipes at the tear and laughs softly. "I do love him," she says. Anne and Ashley nod their heads in understanding.

"Then what's the problem?" Ashley asks. "I know he loves you too."

"But is love enough?"

"It's what keeps mom and dad together," Ashley smiles. Anne glares at her but otherwise ignores the comment.

"Does this have to do with Adrian and the baby?" Anne asks.

Amy shakes her head. "I've come to accept that. I think…" Amy tucks her hair behind her ear. "It's me. I've been hurt before, you know. I just can't bring myself to fully trust him with my heart."

"Didn't we already discuss this," Ashley mentions, slightly exasperated.

"I know, I know," Amy sighs, "but…I…don't…know."

"You love him, right?" Amy nods. "Can you imagine the rest of your life with him?" Again, Amy nods her head. "Can you imagine you life without him?" Amy's eyes widen and she shakes her head negatively.

"Then follow your heart," Anne says, squeezing Amy's hand.

_I'll be taking up your time_  
_Until the day I make you realize_  
_That for your there could be no one else_  
_I just gotta have you for myself_  
_Baby I would take good care of you_  
_No matter what it is you're going through_  
_I'll be there for you when you're in need_  
_Baby believe in me_  
_If love was a crime_  
_Then punish me_  
_I would die for you_  
_Cause I don't want to live without you_  
_Oh what can I do?_

Ricky sits on the couch, motionless and staring straight ahead. All the lights are off and the blinds are closed, leaving the room shrouded in darkness. Noisily, John makes his way down the stairs. He stops short when he notices his father sitting in the dark.

"Dad?" John takes a cautious step forward. "Are you um…are you ok?" John flips a switch, turning on the ceiling light.

Ricky snaps his head toward John and smiles. "John, son, buddy, pal…how are you this morning?" Ricky rambles.

John rolls his eyes and sits down next to his father. "Seriously dad, you're starting to worry me. What's up?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I'm fine. Just enjoying the morning."

John glances around the room, and then focuses his attention back onto Ricky. "Does this have anything to do with mom?"

Ricky slumps against the couch and groans, running his hands over his face. "She's driving me crazy. I've never felt this way before."

John's eyebrows bunch together curiously. "Not even when…um…well umm…when you and mom umm…had um…did the deed to um…have me?" John stumbles.

Ricky laughs heartily. "That's um…that's a long story that…" Ricky stops, sobering instantly as he looks at his son. "That's a story I'll tell you when you're older – many many **many **years from now."

John's mouth drops slightly. "But, that's ridiculous. Mom was just a little older than me when she got pregnant."

Ricky nods in agreement. "My point, exactly."

John rolls his eyes. "Whatever." He stands and starts walking in the direction of the kitchen.

"John," Ricky calls out. John stops and turns around. Ricky stand and jams his hands into his pants' pockets. "What do you…how would you feel about your mother and I getting together?"

John smiles brightly. "Like married?" Ricky shrugs and John nods his head happily.

"I'm hungry," John states, placing a hand on his stomach. Ricky laughs at his son's train of thought, as he watches him go into the kitchen.

Ricky grabs a set of keys off the end table. "I gotta go somewhere," he announces loudly. "Will you be ok by yourself?"

"Yeah, dad," John mumbles around a mouthful of food. Ricky shakes his head and walks out the front door.

_You can call me selfish_  
_But all I want is your love_  
_You can call me hopeless (hopeless)_  
_Cause I'm hopelessly in love_  
_You can call me unperfect_  
_But who's perfect?_  
_Tell me what do I gotta do_  
_To prove that I'm the only one for you_

Amy walks into the house, half hoping and half dreading to find Ricky there. She sighs when she finds the living room empty – unsure if it's from relief or disappointment. She drops her keys and purse onto the coffee table and plops onto the couch.

"Hey mom," John greets as he walks into the room from the kitchen, holding a half eaten sandwich.

Amy sits up straight and smiles at her son. "Hey John, I didn't expect you to be up this early on a Saturday." John shrugs his shoulders as he takes a huge bite of the sandwich. "Where's your father?" Amy asks.

Again, he shrugs. "He left a little while ago."

Amy nods her head slowly. "Oh, ok."

John takes another bite of his sandwich as he watches his mother carefully. "Mom, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, sweetie," she says. John stuffs the last of his sandwich into his mouth as he moves to sit beside her.

"Do you love dad?" he asks cautiously.

"Of course I do," she replies, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Like as a friend…or something more?"

Amy's mouth drops open slightly. "Where is this coming from?"

John rolls his eyes. "You're avoiding the question?"

Slightly frustrated, Amy runs her hand through her hair. "This really isn't any of your business."

"I disagree," John counters.

Amy raises her eyebrows at him. "What does a fourteen year old know about love?"

John laughs. "Probably nothing…"

"But…"

"But it affects me – the decisions you and dad make."

Amy nods her head thoughtfully. She wraps her arms around John and pulls him close. "I can't really say what's going on with me and you're dad right now. But I love you and you're father loves you. And no matter what happens, that will never change."

"I know," John says, smiling. "I just…I want you and dad to be together." Amy sighs, holding onto John tighter.

_Why do you keep us apart_  
_Why won't you give up your heart_  
_You know that we're meant to be together_  
_Why do you push me away_  
_All that I want is to give you love_  
_Forever and ever and ever and ever_

Ricky leans against Anne's car with his arms crossed, while George legs stick out from underneath it. "Wrench?" George asks, holding his hand. Ricky bends over, digs the wrench out of the tool box at his feet, and hands it to George. A few minutes later, an oily covered George slides out from under the car. "That should do it," he smiles. Ricky returns the smile. "So, not that you weren't very helpful…"

Ricky smirks at him. "But…"

George chuckles. "But I know you didn't come here to watch me get down and dirty with the car." Ricky laughs and shakes his head negatively. George leans against the car next to Ricky. "Let me guess – Amy?" Ricky nods his head and George sighs. "I swear you two have been beating around the bush for the last 15 years."

Ricky glares at him. "I'm not beating around anything. I've made my feelings perfectly clear. It's…her. She's driving me crazy."

George laughs. "That's women for you. Anne drives me crazy all the time."

"Yeah but you're married. Me and Amy…" Ricky stops, staring off into space.

"…aren't" George finishes with a nod. "I see." Ricky looks up at him with curious eyes. George smiles brightly and pats Ricky on the back. "Whatever you decide to do, you have my blessing."

_You can call me selfish_  
_But all I want is your love_  
_You can call me hopeless (hopeless)_  
_Because I'm hopelessly in love_  
_You can call me unperfect_  
_But who's perfect?_  
_Tell me what do I gotta do_  
_To prove that I'm the only one for you_

Ricky pulls into his driveway just as Amy is walking out of the house. "Hey," he calls out as he gets out of the car and walks up to her, "where you going?"

Amy smiles at him. "Looking for you, actually."

Ricky smirks. "Here I am." Amy rolls her eyes and they head back into the house. "We need to talk," Ricky says as he guides her toward the couch.

"I think we've done enough talking," Amy retorts as they sit.

Ricky sighs deeply and turns to stare into Amy's eyes. "I love you." Amy scoffs and turns away. "No, don't…please look at me." Ricky reaches out and cups Amy's face with his hand, forcing her to look at him. "I love you. I do. And I know…I know we have a past and I know I've hurt you before but…"

"Yeah you have hurt me before," Amy interrupts as she stands abruptly, turning her back on Ricky. "And I…I never want to feel that way again. W-w-why can't you get that?"

"Because I'm **selfish**!" Ricky exclaims as Amy slowly turns to face him. "I just want you. Only you. I want to make you happy and I…" Ricky slides down to one knee in front of her.

Amy gasps. "What are you doing?" Amy glares at the object Ricky pulls out of his pocket. "Where did you get that from?"

Ricky chuckles softly as he holds out the small elegant ring. "Margaret gave it to me a few years ago. It belonged to her mother."

Amy's expression softens. "Oh. It's…um…pretty."

Ricky nods. "Yeah but you're beautiful." Amy blushes slightly. "So, will you?"

Amy frowns. "Huh?"

Ricky smirks. "Will you marry me?"

_Selfishly I'm in love with you_  
_Cause I've searched my soul_  
_and know that it's you_  
_Selfishly I'm in love with you_  
_Cause I've searched my soul_  
_and know that it's you_  
_Selfishly I'm in love with you_  
_Cause I've searched my soul_  
_and know that it's you.._  
_To prove that I'm the only one for you_  
_So what's wrong with being selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish..._  
_So what's wrong with being selfish..._

* * *

**AN: Hmmm well that was it…the second to last chapter. I hope you liked it. Review and let me know what you think.**

**Upcoming Chapters: **

**Ch 15: This Is Home – Epilogue **

**-Nichelle **


	16. Chapter 15: Epilogue This is Home

**Disclaimer: **_**The Secret Life of the American Teenager**_** and all its characters are the sole creation of Brenda Hampton…I own ****NOTHING.****...**

**AN: I'm so very sorry for the wait…this should have been uploaded forever ago but I was hit with a serious case of ADD, writer's block and just had no inspiration or motivation to write lol…but here it is finally lol…*tear* the last chapter **

**Thanks to those who read and reviewed: Soraya the All Speaker, Heaven829, secretlife2010, prettyinpink21, da0117, Maiqu, teamnickandmiley, martinarstroman**

**And of course thanks to my awesome friend and beta Jazzy…**

**This chapter is inspired by the song "This is Home" by Switchfoot. **

* * *

**Chapter 15: Epilogue – This is Home**

**1 Year and 3 Months Later…**

_I've got my memories  
Always inside of me  
But I can't go back  
Back to how it was  
I believe you now  
I've come too far  
No I can't go back  
Back to how it was  
Created for a place I've never known  
_

"Wakey, wakey!" Amy groans and rolls away from the voice. "Come on, baby. Time to get up."

Amy squeezes her eyes tightly together and shakes her head. "I don't wanna," she mumbles before burying her face into a pillow.

Ricky chuckles softly as he gazes down at her. "Amy," he coos. "Get up or you won't get your present."

Suddenly, Amy's head snaps up and she props herself up on her arms as she stares at Ricky with wide excited eyes. "Prezzie? What prezzie?" She holds out her hands. "I want it. Please."

Rolling his eyes, Ricky reaches into the nightstand drawer and pulls out a velvet box. "Happy 6 month anniversary," he says, handing it to her. Amy takes the box as her eyebrows scrunch together curiously. "What?" he asks.

"Nothing, just didn't think we were celebrating 6 months," Amy replies.

Ricky shrugs his shoulders. "Then think of it as an "I love you," gift to my beautiful wife. Open it," he urges.

"Thanks," she says softly as she slowly lifts the lid. "Wow," she sighs as her eyes roam over the 14k white gold oval locket with flowers and a butterfly engraved on it. "It's beautiful."

Ricky smiles at her before gently taking the box from her hands and removing the locket and its chain from it. "Here," he says, placing the necklace in her waiting hands, "look inside."

Amy opens the locket. On the right side is a picture of her, Ricky and John on their wedding day. On the left is an inscription: "Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts (quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes)." Amy reads this out loud before turning to Ricky and smiling brightly at him. "It's perfect," she exclaims, wrapping her arms around his neck, "thank you."

"You're welcome," Ricky replies, returning the hug. After a few seconds, he pulls back. "Ok, you really have to get up now. It's party time!"

_This is home  
Now I'm finally where I belong  
Where I Belong  
Yeah, this is home  
I've been searching for a place of my own  
Now I've found it  
Maybe this is home  
This is home  
_

Ricky, Amy and John walk up to Adrian's house and around to the side fence that leads to the backyard. Ricky holds a big box wrapped in pink paper, Amy holds a box wrapped in blue paper and John holds two gift bags – one pink and one blue. The three freeze momentarily when they fully enter the backyard. "Wow," the three sigh in amazement.

The yard was completely decked out in Winnie the Pooh decorations. Balloons, streamers and the works. There was even a Winnie the Pooh piñata hanging from a tree. Two long tables, located along the side of the yard, were covered with food and Winnie the Pooh plates and hats. Hanging on the fence behind the tables was a huge banner that read: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY AUDREY U. & JACK JR.!

The birthday boy and girl were sitting in decorated high chairs, surrounded by Adrian, Jack, Grace and their grandparents.

"They sure went all out," Amy comments as they walk further into the yard.

John nods in agreement as Ricky laughs. "Well, you only turn 1 once, right?"

"You're here!" Grace exclaims when she notices the trio. She grabs some party hats off the table before she and Adrian make their way over to them. "Here you go," Grace says, holding out the hats.

Amy eagerly grabs for a hat while Ricky and John shake their heads no. "Come on guys," Adrian urges. "Everyone is wearing one," she insists, pointing to the group behind them where everyone was in fact wearing a Winnie the Pooh hat. Begrudgingly, the two grab a hat and put them on.

"That's the spirit," Amy laughs. Ricky glares playfully at her as they make their way over to the others and place the gifts they brought on the table.

With a smile back on his face, Ricky picks up his giggling daughter and holds her close. "Happy Birthday Audrey," he says for her ears only. "Daddy loves you."

_Belief over misery  
I've seen the enemy  
And I won't go back  
Back to how it was  
And I got my heart set on what happens next  
I got my eyes wide it's not over yet  
We are miracles and we're not alone_

The party is now in full swing and everyone is there. Audrey and Jack Jr. have been taken out of their high chairs and are now playing in a baby moon bounce. Cindy, Ruben, Margaret, Shakur, Kathlene, Jeff and Mr. and Mrs. Stone happily watch their grandchildren. Anne and George walk up to where they are.

"They are so adorable," Anne exclaims. They all nod in agreement and watch as the 1-year-olds grab onto each and roll and bounce around.

"Yup, they're gonna make a cute couple one day," George comments sarcastically.

John and Aaron stand by the food table with overflowing plates. "This is awesome," John mumbles around a mouthful of food.

"I know, right," Aaron mumbles back.

John looks over to where Audrey and Jack Jr. are playing and swallows. "Too bad they're not gonna remember their awesome 1st birthday party…I know I didn't remember mine."

Aaron smiles. "And you supposedly had two parties."

John laughs. "That's what they tell me," he says before stuffing his mouth with more food.

Jack, Mark, Ben, Henry, and Griffin stand near the tree, eyeing the piñata.

"It's going to be me," Mark exclaims.

"No way," Jack replies. "I'm the athletic one here."

Ben rolls his eyes. "It's not all about athleticism."

Henry laughs. "It's definitely not gonna be you." Ben looks aghast at first but then shrugs his shoulders and nods in agreement.

"My bet's on Ricky," Griffin adds.

_And now after all my searching  
After all my questions  
I'm gonna call it home  
I've got a brand new mindset  
I can finally see the sunset  
I'm gonna call it home_

Amy, Grace, Ashley, Alice, Lauren and Madison sit in some chairs, in a half circle, facing everyone else.

"This is an amazing party, Grace," Amy says, "you and Adrian did a great job."

"Thanks," Grace replies. "It's worth it," she nods over to where the babies are still happily playing.

Ashley nods and smiles. "They're so cute." Amy and Grace smirk at her. "What?"

Amy laughs. "Yeah, they're cute. Just wait till yours comes along."

Ashley smiles down at her 6-month-pregnant belly. She looks up at Amy and sticks out her tongue. "Look who's talking."

Amy rolls her eyes. "Yeah, but I've been through it before," she counters, patting her 4-month-pregnant belly fondly.

Adrian looks in the direction of the women and shakes her head. "It will never cease to amaze me how fertile the Juergens women are," she laughs.

Ricky smirks. "They're not that bad."

Adrian raises an eyebrow. "Ashley – married 10 months and now 6 months pregnant. And then you and Amy – already expecting so shortly after tying the knot."

Ricky laughs. "Guess you're right."

"Of course I am," she replies curtly causing Ricky to roll his eyes. "Are you ready?"

"For what?" Ricky asks, confused.

"For a third kid?"

Ricky looks over at his pregnant wife and smiles. "Yeah, I think so."

Adrian also smiles before grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the group of men by the tree. "Come on," she laughs, "it's piñata time!"

_This is home  
Now I'm finally where I belong  
Where I Belong  
Yeah, this is home  
I've been searching for a place of my own  
Now I've found it  
Maybe this is home  
This is home  
_

Amy stands off to the side, silently watching a blindfolded Jack swinging at the Pooh piñata and missing as Adrian raises the bear out of his reach. Amy laughs quietly as Jack throws the stick to the ground, rips off the blindfold and grumbles "I give up."

Ricky walks up to Amy and wraps an arm around her waist. Amy smiles up at him before leaning her head against his chest as they watch Grace wrap the blindfold around John's head. Her smile widens as John's strong swing hits home against Pooh Bear's tummy, cracking it. John removes the blindfold and smiles proudly before passing the stick to his uncle, Aaron.

Amy sighs contentedly causing Ricky to glance down at her. "What are you thinking about?" he whispers into her ear.

Amy smiles at him. "You. John," she replies, placing her hand over her locket. "Our little one," she adds as her hand slides down to rest on her baby bump. Her smile widens as Ricky's hand covers hers. "This is home. After everything that's happened the last couple of years, I know now that this is where I belong. With you. With our family. I love you."

"I love you, too," Ricky smiles as he leans down and kisses her softly, their hands still resting on their unborn child. A loud cheering erupts and they look up to find the bear broken and John and Aaron digging through the assortment of fallen candy.

_Now I know  
Yeah, this is home  
I've come too far  
And I won't go back  
Yeah, this is home_

* * *

**AN: *sigh* well that's the end. I'm in shock…this is my longest chapter story I've written but it's also the quickest…I finished this one in less than a year while my past ones took like a year and a half lol. Well, I doubt there'll be a sequel, but of course I'm still writing 'Last Chance' and I'm looking into this new story idea. Thanks to everyone whose read and I'd love to hear what ya'll think of this last chapter and what ya'll think of my first Secret Life story overall lol so please leave me a REVIEW**

**-Nichelle**


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